"Bakery Cafe- This ain't your mother's cafe."
"Actually, it's more like your great-grandmother's cafe, depending on when she was born."
(my made-up promotional tagline)
Coming home from our annual jaunt to Port Aransas is always fraught with peril. In the two decades that we've been making this trip, we have yet to find a great place to eat at on the way home.
In much the same manner as a nervous boy leaning in for a first kiss, we often put all our hopes onto whatever restaurant we randomly choose, only to end up with a mouth full of flaccid vegetables and pulpy fish. Perhaps your first kiss was different?
At any rate, this year we spied the quaint stylings of Bakery Cafe and decided to repeat history by not remembering it.
Speaking of history, this place has been around since 1929! Unfortunately, the cuisine hearkens back to the heady days of dust-caked palates and the evocative imagery of descriptors such as "beef", "chicken", and "beef".
To be fair, there was fish. The "grilled" fish was in fact pan-fried in a light breading, which served as an extremely efficient grease-retainer. I shall call this fish "griddle-fish". Griddle-fish could run its own advertising campaign: "It was a Luby's kind of day, all week long."
At the crossroads of taste and texture, Griddle -fish simply refused to choose, displaying a bland flavor and a mushy texture typically reserved for thick slices of moist bread. Delicious.
"Best Chicken-Fried Steak in Town!"
This got my attention, and, in a moment of schadenfreude, I delighted in the certain superiority of my dish over others. Upon arrival, the C.F. Steak looked small but adequate, and I took up my arms and began to eat.
My fork and knife sawed through the breading (ranked 3 on my proprietary 1-10 crunch-scale) and pierced deep into the bowels of the beast, finding a tough and leathery cut of meat. Taste-wise, the flavors weren't too far off expectations for the dish, but the toughness really affected the experience. I do believe that lack of competition makes this simultaneously the best and worst C.F. Steak in Aransas Pass.
The fried fish fared better, displaying a golden and crunchy bread-crumb coating, though the fish inside was relatively fatty.
My dessert of mixed fruit was straight out-the-can, and my reaction was straight-out-the-horror-movie. Do not bother with this option.
Prices were high-average, and the service was scant but friendly. There were lunch specials on the menu that seemed to offer a better value.
Like any perishables you may have from 1929, this place has not aged well, and I suggest turning your gaze, as I have, towards the not-particularly-bright horizon of the other Aransas Pass eating establishments.
The search continues. read more