There are some cafes that just seem to have a soundtrack that goes along with them. Some just feel like ZZ Top, or Phish, or something else. For some reason, I get a big Northern State feeling in the Roost. So, for my review, I figured I would channel lyrics from Northern State, an excellent rap group from earlier this millennium, for the review.
Do you like coffee?
"Let me begin, I like my coffee"
Alright, how is the coffee?
"Why don't you ask your moms?"
My mom thinks the coffee is pretty good there, especially the iced coffee. Before we talk food, let's establish if you are a legitimate critic...Do you get to a lot of the places in Northampton?
"I got eyes all over this city, yo i cover mad ground, Surf the waves of traffic and yo, i get around"
Good, and do you know good food?
"Don't miss the buffet at my birthday soiree. Cause I'm a workaday gourmet. I sautee and flambee"
OK, so how is the food at the Roost?
"I don't know why water on wood just makes it dry"
True enough--the Roost has good food, but it does lack flavor a lot of times.
"Complex times call for complex rhymes, A lime to a lemon said a lemon to a lime."
Yeah, they could play more with citrus or something. The salads, the Itty Bitty, the Red Rooster, etc. they are all good, but leave something to be desired. How about the desserts in that case?
"ODB's on probation... make sweet salvation"
True enough, they are decent indulgences, as good as you can get in Northampton. Decent for a good time when you are sad (about ODB) or happy. Let's change the discussion to other drinks. Do they have beer?
"My head is filled with cotton, now it's soaked up in the years. And it's soaked in the tears and the fears and the beers"
That's kinda weird...how about wine?
"You got the bread sticks and salad but the fine wine is for free."
Ha ha...nice joke, free wine. But yeah, decent microbrews and wine, but let's talk ambiance. Back when they had the couch area, what was the vibe like?
"We don't have to leave the living room to have a good time."
Now that they removed the couch area, what is the vibe with all the small tables?
"I don't have a job but I work all day."
You got any criticisms about the ambiance?
"I can't sit down"
Yeah it gets crowded, how would you describe the average customer?
"Dancin' around real slow in the sunshine, barefeet dirty, long hair flowin', Feelin' carefree and not knowin' why."
Oh...hipster, huh? I guess that is ok.
"Yo don't be such a damn snob"
You are right, sorry--. What's the way an average woman in the Roost might introduce herself?
"I'm a radical female, astrological genius, I'll just say it once oh you'll know that I mean this."
How would the average male introduce himself??
"How you been? Do you still have my copy of Huckleberry Finn?"
Yeah, that's a lame line. Let's talk price. Noho can be expensive, how is the price at the Roost?
"Keep your eyes on your money if your money's green."
True enough. Pretty affordable if you want it to be...not if you don't. Good point.
Well, thank you Northern State lyrics for enlightening us about The Roost. Keep it real, Sprout! read more