Ok so qualifier right off the top: the only reason I was in this park was because me and my girlfriend got in a fight and she ran in there. We were underneath that big army arch near the subways and I said there weren't any good restaurants in the area. Obviously she disagreed (she always disagrees!) and I said, "if there's such good food around here how come you don't know the directions to any of them." She said, "I do know the directions I just have to think about them for a second because I haven't hung out in this area since I moved to the Lower East Side last winter." I said, "I can pretty much remember where all the good food spots are in Chelsea and I haven't lived there in three years." She said, "Well aren't you a smart little guy." And of course I replied, "yea, obviously smarter than you." And you can connect the dots after that!
She's a brisk walker and I lost track of her in about two minutes. I didn't actually expect her to keep walking until she crossed the street, and by then I was too far behind to catch up. She wasn't picking up her phone (she hates her phone, I don't even know why she has the damn thing Ha!) and so I said, "here goes nothing," to myself and set off across the street and into the park.
I'd never been before, but I can tell you wow is it big! That's the first thing I thought. Huge! Some of the trees here are 50, 60 feet tall at least, and some you can't even see the top of them! I was distracted by these mammoth trees that I almost got hit by a bike: it should be noted that bikers L O V E this place. While I was distracted by a chicken up in the tree at least five of these fitness freaks screamed at me: 'you're in the fucking bike lane jackass!'. I was embarrassed, but undeterred. I hopped, skipped, and jumped my way out of the bike lane and walked out into the first big field (I say 'first' because there are at least a half-a-dozen fields in the park. I haven't seen this many fields since I visited my cousins in Iowa.) There are people taking part in all kinds of activities out here: frisbee, kite, fleshing, play-dates, dog play, planting, outdoor cooking, BBQ, football pass, practice; basically, if you've done it outside, you can see someone doing it out here. I wanted to join in I was so excited!
But I was on a mission.
I was losing cell service fast, and I needed to find my girlfriend before she got too lost. I didn't want to have to call Park Rescue, but honestly it wouldn't be the first time with her. I yelled her name a few times, but to little effect. A small man wearing an Italian flag t-shirt did hear me shouting her name though and ran up to me. He said, "I saw a woman with that name walk by here about 10 minutes ago. She was saying her name over and over again. You look like you must know here." Talk about a stroke of luck! That's exactly what she does when she's upset. She gets into a huff, puts her headphones on, and starts marching around muttering her own goddamn name. He points me due east and I started jogging. The sun was fast setting over the gargantuan trees and I can see the Moon materializing in the west. Time was, as they say, of the essence. I made my way over several little hills and through a couple pumpking patches and then I saw her: she was out near this massive tree circling the trunk with her hands out like an airplane. It was dark, but I could tell it was here by her signature scowl. She had cooled off a bit and so we took a leisurely stroll through the other end of the park.
Great stuff out there! There's an amazing Botanical Garden with the most gorgeous plants: ruby roses, ice myles, tattershoots, gorbers, pumpkings, lady fingers, tinselfish, and even more plants that I didn't even know the names of. I think I saw a couple chickens rooting around in there too!
When we finally made it to the end of the park, I was so disappointed. I wanted to turn around and go right back in! There's probably a lot I didn't see, but I as I always say: there's always next weekend!
PS: We did end up finding something to eat. Gordon's Grill & Pub on Washington Avenue. The sauces were to die for, and Gordon himself came out to ask us how we were doing. Bon Appetite Gordón! read more