Okay so first thing is first, this location is notorious for being a "flavor of the year" location, that is, stuff doesn't last long here.
That said, Papi Grande appears to market themselves as a "Mexican themed restaurant" when really they should focus more on being a bar.
The "Mexican" decorations are just tacky party fare purchased from the dollar store, little paper spinners with the word "Fiesta" on them, and streamers and paper balls. The outdoor decorum and furniture was clearly purchased at a local megastore. The tacky decorations should have set the bar for my expectations.
My party sat down on their patio for food, however we stood around for about 5 minutes before anyone acknowledged us. Someone (not sure his role, he came out from the kitchen, confirmed there were 3 of us, and asked if we preferred inside or the patio, then he just disappeared, we watched him walk out to the patio (our preference) and then walk back into the kitchen, then come back out, walk behind the bar, then over to the restrooms and then never to be seen again. We theorized he was looking for a busboy (more on that later)).
Finally we were sat, and the person who finally did was one of the two bartenders.
I should also note, the bar was full.
Once seated, the bartender continued to be our waiter, also not a good sign.
While sitting in the patio, we noticed that there were about 6 empty tables with dirty dishes on them. Some of them had stacks of plates.
My party ordered a few things, first, our drinks, A Cucumber margarita, A house sangria, and a beer. We waited 15 minutes for our drinks, but once they arrived, the mix drinks were great. No complains other than time taken.
After receiving our drinks and placing an order we sat around for a long time waiting.
We ordered Chips and Queso, Chips and Guac, Southwest Egg rolls, Chorizo, and Fried Ice cream.
First off, the "Queso" tasted like Velveeta with a few drops of Tabasco added. No chunky tomatoes or onions or anything, it was completely smooth. They should make a house queso, especially considering we paid $5 for a bowl of Velveeta.
The guacamole tasted like it came from a bag, there were a few small pieces of onion but mainly was just plain avocado, again, we paid $5 for this.
The two "chips" came out in about 10 minutes, and then we waited nearly 35 minutes for the rest of our food to come out.
Once it finally did....
The Chorizo I did not try, but I was told it just tasted like fried dough and powdered sugar, which I think is what its supposed to taste like? I'm unsure as I usually avoid it. I believe this item was $5.
The southwest egg rolls we're not bad, but the ground beef they stuffed them with tasted off, like a low grade of meat or too high of a fat concentration (they were quite greasy) but the sauce and overall taste was OK. So far the only item that seemed to be worth the $10 it cost.
The fried icecream was also decent, however I think it may have been over-fried, the shell on the scoop had a sort-of burnt marshmallow taste, and what I think was supposed to be chocolate? Was burnt to the metal plate. It came out steaming/smoking, which I think might be part of the display of the item, but it was like pouring steam/smoke (It was hard to tell if the sugar was smoking or the ice cream was steaming, likely both) The shell and icecream were good, but everything else on the plate was unpalatable. $5.
Through the whole experience we saw our waiter / bartender 5 times, when he sat us and took our drink order, when he returned with our drinks and took our food order, he came by once, with part 1 of our food, and later with part 2, then the check.
Overall my party spent about 90 minutes in the restaurant for 1 round of drinks and 3 appetizers and 2 desserts.
In summary, there seems to be a serious staffing issue at this establishment.
Bartenders need to stay in the bar.
Waiters / waitresses should tend to the customers, even if they aren't in their section (and especially if a section is understaffed).
They are in DIRE need of a busboy, or the Waitresses should step up and clean some tables, it looks filthy and sets a bad mood for future customers, seeing dirty tables.
The chef, if there is one, shouldn't cut corners on ANYTHING, even if they're just appetizers, and should be ashamed for calling a few of these items homemade.
The tacky decorations need to come down, it feels like a sad frat party when you walk through the inside. They can still keep the Mexican theme without the terrible "Oriental Trading" style decorations.
They can fix everything by doing one thing, reducing the "food" side of their business. The food isn't great, they don't have the staff to keep going, and have had enough time to find them.
Considering their location, being a full time bar makes way more sense for them. Their mix drinks are great, and being right next to a theater, people are more likely to stop in for drinks vs food.
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