Annual pilgrimage back to Buffistan for wings, football, and beer.
On our way to an early lunch at Gabriel's Gate, we pass an old victorian house painted up like some sort of satanic circus with a beer light on. We decide to check it out after our wings.
Highlights:
- It's 11:45AM, yet there are empty beer cans and dirty glasses strewn everywhere, apparently from the previous night.
-It's winter in Buffalo, and their heater is not working. It is freezing.
-We inquire about the jukebox to break up the incredibly awkward silence of the cold, smelly bar. We're told it doesn't work, but a white-haired man at the bar, wearing a homemade, hand-knit Buffalo Bills sweater (epic) volunteers to play some records out of the closet/DJ booth.
If you had told me he was gonna play a mix of bizarre 80's elecro, I'd have called you a liar.
-I order our party a pitcher of Molson and a screwdriver for the lady. I hand him a twenty and he gives me back fourteen. WTF?
-The men's room features a Ralph Wilson Stadium styled piss trough, and on this occasion there was a giant turd resting in/on the toilet.
-While shooting pool, we attract some unwanted attention. After some brief hellos and failed attempts at ignoring him:
Derelict Man: "Man if these walls could talk..." looks around nostalgically.
My Brother: "They'd probably say [makes indistinguishable drunk mumbling noises.]"
The man then appears to consider attacking my brother, but instead decides to leave, making lewd remarks to both my girlfriend AND my sister on the way out, for bonus points.
-I order a shot of Jameson for myself and the bartender joins me with a shot of Rumple Minze (yikes) claiming, "If I'm going to get fired today I may as well be drunk." Touche, sir.
He then tells me that the building was once the first bowling alley in Buffalo. A quick glance around would suggest that he's lying, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
Lowlights:
-NONE!
So if you're in town for a game or just visiting, DO NOT miss out on The Stinky Pinky. Get there before noon, that's when the fun starts! read more