Oh man. I love this place. Wednesday trivia night is the best (clearly, as I decided, like a loser, to come home and review it after having been). But seriously, like other reviewers, this feels like my neighborhood haunt even if I don't live around the corner. Chill, fun crowd, good music and a great happy hour ($2 beers and $3 wells til 9pm whaaaaaaaaaat!?) LOVE Nowhere! read more

This place is a cave That smells like B.O. And should Be called a gay dive bar read more

Do not go here if you are female. My gf and I went here on a Monday night thinking it was just a gay bar. We were literally the only girls there. 2 girls out of probably 100 men. On Mondays they have men wandering around in their little briefs, which is fine until they start grabbing your hands and forcing you to touch their bodies up and down. I touched and saw so many penises that I did not want to touch and see. The "dancers" were all over my friend and I and would NOT leave us alone. They kept telling us how straight they were and how they wouldn't be upset if they took us home with them that night. After we had been there for a little bit, one of the dancers grabbed us and brought us back to the lap dance room for a free lap dance, because we kept saying that we didn't want one. Eventually the boy just gave up on trying to make money off us and took us back for free. It was THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE I have ever been. As soon as we walked back there, 2 couples had to stop having sex. Then when it got to the "dance" part 2 rando naked boys started to rub us up and down touching places they didn't have permission to touch. After about 30 seconds, we bolted out of there. We met with another friend outside where he was having a cigarette to tell him about what happened, and as we were telling him the bouncer came over and said, "are you guys okay?!" He knew something went wrong, and was probably trying to prevent a lawsuit. Long story short just do not go if you are a girl!!! read more

where the hell am i? did i just see a boy in drag... or was that Margaret Cho? why are all my straight friends grinding with my gay boyfriends? am i allowed to take these samples of lube and NYC condoms home? i'm kind of drunk... did Javier M. and i just see Diana B. getting in her car? where the hell is Lynn F.? i should call her. was Billy A. an exotic dancer in his past life? is that Irene F. getting her boobs grabbed? is Sam P. really grabbing Irene's boob? nope... it was David this time. why is Jase E. and Yosh H. so freakin' fabulous?! where's Julie K.? oh! she's getting dancing lessons from Billy A. it's gettin' hot in hurrrrr... oh! Lynn F. is here! let's dance! that drag queen keeps eye-flirting with David S.- he's MINE, bitch! Scott B.'s hair color is lookin' fierce. i love it. strong Jack & Coke's... mmm mmm good. what's the bartenders' names? they're nice. i should drunk dial Audrey J. "hi Audrey!! i love you.. and everyone here says HI!! what? shut up, Javier.. i'm talking to Audrey. huh? stop it! everyone stop talking because i'm trying to talk on the phone! i know, right? i sooo want Britney Spears' new album.... shut up! shut up! so, Audrey... like, why aren't you here right now? what? i can't hear you... well, i'll call you tomorrow." where the hell am i? nowhere, my friend.... nowhere. read more

"Nicole, what are you doing here?" Boy quizzically looks at overly enthusiastic girl before him. "Hey, so good to see you! We're trying all the bars on 14th Street. We're doing a bar crawl," silly girl says with a giggle. She motions back to her group of friends who've wandered toward a pool table. "Did you realize this was a gay bar?" "A gay...what? No." Boy laughs wildly at ignorant girl. "Weren't you wondering why no one was hitting on you yet?" He laughs again. "I...um...no." "Oh my god, that's so weird. You must feel so strange. Well, see you in class." Boy walks toward a room in the back. Before he vanishes into the room he looks back at silly girl as if to say: Get out of here. Get out of here right now. I don't want girls like you ruining our chill groove we got going on. Silly girl is left by the bar and looks around briefly, wondering why she was just attacked by Cruella Deville. Couldn't we all enjoy the dalmatians? Friends in sparkly pink and purple tops stumble back from the pool table and approach shamed girl. "Nicole, this place totally smells and the guys really suck. Let's go!" read more

Nowhere is never my first choice when I'm trying to decide where I'm going to have a drink. It's the bar I go to after I've deemed everyone at the other bars unattractive. You know how they say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results? Well, yeah, this bar makes me feel insane. Each time I go into Nowhere, it's empty (except Tues. nights, but I'll get into that in a minute). I always go expecting that maybe, on a certain night, people will have finally discovered this bar, and it'll be full of people. But that doesn't happen. And I keep coming back. There are always a few people standing out front, smoking cigarettes, staring at you as you approach the bar, desperately hoping that someone else will come inside - which is enough to deter you from going in. I can't count the number of times I've merrily trotted over to this bar, hopeful that I'll find some cute guy there, and then once I get to the door, I see the sad faces outside, peak in the window (nobody's inside), and turn right around. I don't know why this bar isn't more popular. It has a great jukebox, and..., and... actually, there aren't really any redeeming qualities to this bar except for its associations with better bars (Phoenix, Metropolitan) through its management, and its proximity to my house. Tuesday night at Nowhere is called "Bear Essentials." Such a dumb name. They might as well call it "The Furry Man's Halfass Dungeon." You go in, and they've hung black trash bags from the ceiling, creating partitions in the space, so that it feels more dungeonlike, and so that furry men can do nasty things with one another and fantasize about being rats having sex in trashbags. You can't see anyone's face because the trashbags block all the light. The mood is predatory, and if you're the type of guy who kind of laughs at the label "bear," then this isn't your crowd. These people play on bear softball leagues and have paw prints tattooed on their bellies. read more

Very divey place, super nice bartender, decent music, a friendly crowd, and an unusually high concentration of drag queens. I went last night and was a little belligerent, so hopefully they don't hate me now :-( read more

Nowhere always feels like I've stumbled into a high school party in someone's basement -- awkward crowd and cheesy decorations, but cheap drinks, random lesbians, and lots of enthusiasm. I hope enthusiasm is enough -- there's potential here. read more

I'm living proof they're cool to straight folks, too. The first time I went in I didn't notice it was even a gay bar for a while. Part of that is because I am functionally retarded. But the drinks are tasty and of decent price, the tenders are friendly and the juke is good. A good bar is a good bar. read more

since my good friend and fellow filipino brother from another mother was guest-DJing from 6 to 10PM on fri night, i was looking forward to bit of bad behavior at nowhere... and debauchery there was! 1) there were free, albeit watery G&Ts flowing throughout the night. my sweet boys treated me to a few because they missed my birthday fiesta the night before. (yay, mid-20s!) 2) we grooved to the entire track of brit brit's blackout. just so you know, beyonce's single ladies also made an appearance, including my pal's super-hot rendition of the dance. 3) i hit on a guy - well, to be fair, i was trying to figure out for my friend if he was gay or straight since we were getting mixed signals. this consisted of asking him if the surcharge on the ATM was high while he was pulling out some cash in the back. when he said it was $2.50, i panicked and ran away. i never found out if he was gay or straight ... yes, we've established that i have no game. this place may not look like much with a musty smell to match, but don't let that fool you - it's fun, indeed. read more

The same guys that own and manage Phoenix and the Metropolitan (in Williamsburg) also manage this bar. Nowhere has a quiet charm that is immediately felt upon walking into the doors. The clientele is friendly the bartenders generous, and the atmosphere (though red lighted) settles you into the mood to chat, drink, and just unwind. It's a less creepy version of Phoenix, and a bit more sophisticated version (sans outdoor patio) of the Metropolitan. I've only been for happy hour, so not sure of the later hours crowds, but hey, who can argue with two for one drink specials on a Thursday after work? read more

This place gets brownie points for picking the perfect bar name. Period. Beyond the superficial: this place was great! Lots of room, good atmosphere, reasonable drink prices, and lots of friendly clientele. Seemed like a good place for guys to meet but not sleazy or overbearing. They also get brownie points for hosting "Obama Rama" night the other week; I love paying a cover when it goes to Obama. read more

The other half and I were staying in the East Village on 14th Street for a week. Walked around the hood and saw the Nowhere Bar down below the sidewalk level with a rainbow sticker in the window. Made note and said we'd stop back by before we left town. That night it looked dead inside. A few days later we were on the prowl and decided to stop in. We were stopped at the door because there was a $5 cover. Oh, hell no. The place still looked dead inside and I will never, ever pay a cover charge for a dive bar. Not even $5, which is nothing. Shook my head with a "you must be crazy look" and we left. Not sure why they felt the need to charge. It was a few days before pride weekend, maybe that was it. read more

Drag Queens and Yelp Gay Night, don't mind if I do! Lovely. The bartenders are great, we caught a bit of the 2 for 1 happy hour, and then as Jase mentioned, the drinks seem to start semi-expensive and get cheaper as the night wears on...a little bizarre. The kickin 80's music tempts one to rock the side ponytail, and the bathrooms are indeed clean. read more

The bar has a fun dive-y vibe to it but that's about the only thing it has going for it. After our second round we were grabbed by dancers and pulled into a private room. The dancers performed a three-song lap dance and demanded payment of $60 from each of us. Neither I, nor my friend ask for, consented to, or enjoyed this service in any way, shape, or form. The dancers were aggressive and tried to make us take money out of the cash machine. We got away from them, closed our tab and left. I will not be returning. read more

I love this bar. It's got different themes every night. Tuesdays is called Buddies which is a weekly party for bears and there admirers with a $3 Domestic Draft. Wednesdays is also a fun night called LUSH which is a weekly party dedicated to playing pop and popscura music and movies. Where you can hear the B-52's to Roisin Murphy to Love and Rockets and a random tune form 60's Motown. I love Saturdays which is Double Headed Disco. It's a night great versatile music ranging from Grace Jones to Sonic Youth. Sundays can where every week is a different party. The thing is you never know what you might walk into on any given night at this favorite hangout. read more

Went there last weekend for my birthday - the vibe, the music, the decor - everything about it was fun and chill. I love going out for drinks but I don't do the dance club scene, so it was really nice to be in a relaxed space. It didn't hurt that the drinks weren't expensive and it being my birthday, well ... let's just say I left very "spirited." :) read more

I lost my bag here -- someone appears to have stolen it. When I asked the security guard he smarmily told me to "go look for it" and reminded me that "it's a bar." No shit! No responsibility and no sympathy, and attitude as well. Thankfully I called them up the next day and they had it safely behind the bar! I guess one of the employees picked up to keep it from being snatched. The drink my friend got was way too strong. They also have a $20 minimum for credit card charges. read more

This is my favorite bar in Manhattan, in fact in all of NYC. That doesn't mean everyone will love it like I do, but here is why I like it so much: * super friendly bartenders who not only get the drinks out fast but also find time to say hello & chat some -- no matter how crowded, I have never had a long wait for a drink * free water & cups always available -- I don't think I've ever seen that in any other New York bar * great DJs who spin a variety of music depending on the night, including evenings of 80s hits & less well known tunes (sound that brings me back to my dancey youth) * a friendly crowd -- I've gone there many times by myself & have always managed to strike up conversations with cool people * an atmosphere of be yourself & let your freak flag fly * various fun nooks for hanging out with friends * hilarious low-budget decorations on party nights * on that note, tons of wacky & sexy theme parties, such as Scary Mary, Double Headed Disco, & Fire in the Hole (redhead fetish night) * and all of this takes place in a dark, yet friendly, subterranean space If these reasons appeal to you, stop on in. And check their website or FB page for their list of events. read more

I've been here several times. I even follow them on Twitter. The bartenders have always been friendly and the drinks are hella cheap. Also, I think their free pizzas come from Crocodile Lounge (which I also love) across the street! Great chill place. I'm sad the Wii wasn't on when I went last. Oh and they have a fishbowl of condoms in the restroom. That's always helpful. read more

Great fun edgy Bar with attentive, friendly bartenders and great parties and music and plenty of hot, friendly men. One of my favorite watering holes! Please stop by. read more

Love this place. Low key and fun. Stiff drinks without blowing your wad. The bartender, Gavin, is awesome. Consistently a good place to hang out or just breeze through. read more

To quote Alison Goldfrapp: a Nowhere bar that's like a Tardis. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. Plus you can travel through time and it goes, "Zwhoo, zhwoo, zhwoo." This place is gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. And they have an amazing happy hour. And pool! And it's cozy and nice to be in. Also, they have free condoms! Well duh, it's a gay bar. But did you know that even though they're for asses, they totally work for vaginas too? It's true! No babies, no diseases. Five stars and three cheers! Hip hip HORRAY! Hip hip HORRAY! Hip hip HORRAY! read more

stumbled across it one drunken night... nice gay bar... never seen it crowded.... and mostly.. only gay men... (from my experience).... but i still continue to revisit... the vibe is nice... and the bartenders kinda know me by now... read more

I went on a tuesday night after happy hour with a bunch of friends to dance but the music was too low and not that good.

I went to this place with a friend of mine last night because someone recommended this place. The bar was crowded and there was only 1 bartender on duty. The bartender was busy and we were trying to get his attention. The bartender did not acknowledge us at all and we were trying to get his attention by waving at him. He did not make any eye contact. After about 10 minutes, he walked right by us and I called for him. The bartender rudely said "waving is not going to help, I see you" and walked away. We only had 1 drink and left. The bathroom is disgusting and dirty. The toilet was not stable and was moving. They need to serious get that fixed and hire better bartenders. On a busy night like yesterday, you would think they would have more than one bartender on duty.. I will never go back there again and I will not recommend anyone there. read more

This place was a total let down, especially the beej room in the back. Dirty glasses everywhere and nearly devoid of people.

Is it purposely dark to not be able to make out the features on anyone's face? I bet if they turned them up most people would run out screaming. Ok..so do your research before you pop in there since they have all kinds of featured nights...leather, bear, lesbian...etc. Nevertheless, you cannot argue about its great location on E 14th street and the fact that they even serve some decent draft beers. Yes, it is dark inside but don't let that stop you from venturing in. read more

The first bar I fell in love with in the city. The crowd is diverse, good for chats, nice themed nights, great for groups and fantastic bartenders. read more

I went recently for the first time as I'm checking out bars in my new neighborhood (and others). I was really happy with the experience. There was a lot of variety to the crowd and everyone seemed unusually friendly for a NYC gay bar (i.e. less cliquish than most). Definitely a great place to hang out and have a decent shot at striking up a conversation with someone. read more

Just a regular dive bar. Not sure why it is listed as a gay bar - most patrons were pretty damn straight. The drinks were good and it was not too crowded Thirsday evening so we were able to use the pool table with no wait. The music selection was terrible however. read more

I'm not really sure why I decided to live a half hour train ride away from my new neighborhood bar, or if it really even qualifies as a neighborhood bar at that point, but I'm willing to make that trek for Nowhere. Surprisingly cheap drinking, sweet bartenders, kind regulars. Lots of beards. I guess I'm tempted to call the crowd 'diverse', but that seems like a poor stand-in for its patrons' real hallmark: in step with the bar's name, your nights here will feel a little bit absurd. read more

Who does't love a dirty gay bar? It smells bad in here, the drinks are cheap and the bartenders are nice. It is often packed and depending on the night the crowd does vary. read more

Still scares me. I revisited this bar because my friend insists that I went on a bad night and that it usually isn't that weird. Well, ladies and gentlemen, it was even more weird! Think crowds of middle-aged men and one twenty-something in his underwear for every three of the aforementioned. I was tempted to call them go-go boys but they don't dance, and they aren't strippers because that is to say they had clothes on at some point. In any event, the beer was cheep and it was good fun so I'm upping the rating! If you have Nowhere else to go (teehee) then you might just have a randomly fun time at this strange little bar. read more

Hi recently at Nowhere on Monday's best day to go Tommy and all staff are great but it's supposed to be a place for gay men I see women inside which I think distracts the dancers with there crazy antics (dancing crazy ,stink attitudes ,judging us ) and also some of us who go there I'm never in a lesbian bar bothering them as a gay man we have a hard enough time finding a place where we are comfortable it's not fair are they being charged more for being there I don't know (they should ) other than that it's. Great Place to Go on Monday's read more

Love this place! Me and my GF came here randomly one night and were quite pleased. Drinks are cheap but strong and the music is great. Had some great times here. I'm now a frequent customer and it doesn't disappoint. read more

Phoenician tourist here. My first trip to NYC. This bar is the shit!! I love it! Raul is awesome! Highly recommended.

When trying to meet some friends at this place, we didn't know exactly where it was located, so I had to text Mike with, "Where is Nowhere?" Yes, a very Existential kind of text. The place itself wasn't too bad, definitely an East Village sort of dive bar with a good mix of people. The drinks were cheap and the decorations consisted of rainbow lights, a LOT of colored duct tape (on everything: floor, ceiling, tables, mirrors, etc), and a pretty low ceiling. There was also some strange area in the corner that reminded of what an opium den looks like in the movies, complete with people strewn across the floor. Groomer has it that there is also a "dark room," but not the kind where you develop photos. read more

Liked this place until now... Went along to Fire in the Hold and the doorman wouldn't let us in without ID. Weird... as I was there the night before without ID, and I am 44 with long grey hair and a grey beard! Goodbye Nowhere. read more

Fun low-key dive-bar'ish gay bar. The frozen margaritas are good, and the bartenders are prompt. Very diverse crowd.