(I tried to give this joint no stars, but Yelp won't let me.)
I don't even know where to begin.... First of all, they get no stars whatsoever, simply because it was just THAT bad. I mean, saying it was mediocre at best, would be far too generous. REALLY! I have never heard of this place but our friend had reservations for 7pm, to celebrate his birthday. We were all running late but they were very accommodating about pushing it back, so I'll give them that.
Okay, I'll start at the top and work my way through the meal because not a second of it is to be missed. Really, you NEED to read this!
When a majority of us arrived a few people in our party were already there, sharing a bottle of wine. They informed us there was a big wedding shower or reception going on in the bar and we saw there had been another birthday party of 15 people or so, sat right next to us, in front of the expo. There was so much more restaurant around us, so the placement made no sense. Since I didn't know what kind of spot this place is, I didn't know whether or not to be confused by the unlit buffet setup next to us, I later came to the conclusion that it was setup for the Sunday brunch to go down this morning. They couldn't wait until the restaurant was closed, to set it up? Or even have the staff come in early on Sunday? I understand, you set it up on a Saturday afternoon, so you or your staff wouldn't have to stay too late because you all had to get up Sunday morning to be on ten and ready to go first thing. Right?
Our new friends also implied that we should really take a look at the appetizer menu, especially the , "fried shrimps." I understand that nobody's perfect and there's room for allowance of a few misspelled words, especially if you regularly change out your menu. All I'm saying is, all you have to do is hit the spellcheck option!
Extremely distracted by making our entree choices, we tried to decipher the menu and stumbled over it's barrage of fonts, visually displeasing to the point that a handful of us were losing our appetites. That thing was a typographical nightmare! I'll say it again,NIGHTMARE! I still wonder, what kind of sauce is,"bar b queue," what is a chicken "culet," and I don't care if it's a sweet dessert, but an apple "dumping," does not sound appetizing to me. Even my boyfriend said, "this menu is setting up this meal for failure!" We should have taken that cue from there and bounced right out, but the birthday boy and his girlfriend assured it would be good.
I really felt bad for the waitress, but part of me really didn't. Just because you call me "madam," it still doesn't make up for the shit storm we were about to endure. The whole experience was like pulling teeth. No... It was worse than that. It started off with a request for a carafe of water, which came about 30 minutes,to an hour later, and was only enough to fill about 3 or 4 glasses. In the interim, we got introduced to Norman, himself, social butterfly of the "bistro." Anyways we spent our time, requesting a couple bottles of wine (we could've drank more if it didn't take a lifetime to get just one), trying to order our food, trying to get the waitresses attention, trying to get anything. Let's just say, if our table was a choking baby, mother, waitress would only have found it to be dead hours later. At this point,we all had about 50% of our verbal filters off, and let them marinate until we received our salads, two hours after we had ordered. Did I mention the waitress came up to our table with a pillowcase of bagged salad, when she was asked where our salads were? Did you know that a side of Caesar salad at, Norman's Bistro, is just the regular mixed green salad that fits in a tiny,little soup bowl, with Caesar dressing on the side? Oh yeah, the dressing came about 5-10 minutes after we received the salad. I couldn't even eat half of the damn thing because it kept running through my mind that they probably didn't wash it.
We watched the party next to us, sporadically receive their food, even though they ordered after us. We also watched some of our food sit under the food warmer, in the expo, for a very, long time. Someone in our party, ordered dessert and he even saw it sit in the window for at least five minutes. Left and right, people received their food. Finally the waitress came behind me, to finally lay down a plate I have anticipated for hours, literally. "Um, what the fuck?" said the look on my face as it stared ate the lobster and shrimp pot pie, which formed a skin on top, from sitting in the window. She immediately picked up my plate and said ,"No...I'm sorry madam this is not yours." No shit it ain't mine! Famished, I expected a piping, hot bowl of spicy,shrimp and lobster gumbo.
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