**The Curious Case of the Missing Fries**…read more
*A one-act dinner drama.*
**Setting:** Buffalo Wild Wings, Marion, Indiana. Friday evening. The clock reads 6:30 PM.
**Act I - Hope Takes a Seat**
The curtain rises. A family is seated. Drinks are ordered and, after a reasonable wait, make their grand entrance. Spirits are high. Menus are closed with confidence. What could go wrong?
**Act II - The Plot Thickens**
Our waitress appears to be starring in three different productions simultaneously. Between conversations with coworkers, interactions with nearby tables, and whatever invisible subplot was unfolding around her, taking our order seemed less like a conversation and more like speed dating with distractions.
About 30 minutes later, the appetizers arrived... mostly. A few cast members were absent, but the show marched on.
Then came the waiting.
Ranch dressing somehow became the evening's most punctual performer, making multiple appearances long before the main course ever took the stage.
Around the 1-hour-and-15-minute mark, our waitress informed us that the manager was personally pulling our food, and it would be arriving shortly. Hope returned.
**Act III - The Mayo Mystery**
Dinner finally arrived.
Unfortunately, my wife's burger featured one very clear villain: mayonnaise. She had specifically requested none.
When we mentioned it, we were treated to an unexpected behind-the-scenes documentary about end-of-month meetings, server errors, kitchen issues, and internal restaurant operations. We affectionately dubbed this segment, *"Tea from the Back End."*
An interesting plot twist? We were asked whether simply replacing the bottom bun would solve the problem.
No... no it would not.
The burger disappeared backstage and returned surprisingly quickly, looking suspiciously like the original burger wearing a fresh set of buns.
The fries, however, had apparently chosen to leave the production entirely and had to be summoned for an encore.
**Final Act - The Great Escape**
We were told something would likely be taken off the bill for the inconvenience.
Nothing was.
Checks arrived. Cards were collected. Then our waitress accepted a starring role at another table while we sat waiting to sign our receipts after nearly two hours in the restaurant.
Eventually, the cards and receipt folders were dropped on the table with little more than a drive-by delivery before the credits rolled.
**Final Review**
The surprising part? The food was actually good. The drinks were good too.
This wasn't a kitchen problem as much as it felt like a restaurant trying to stay afloat while stretched too thin, combined with service that never quite felt focused. We weren't difficult guests, our order was simple, and everyone can have an off night--but the experience never recovered, and a sincere apology would have gone a long way.
Good food. Long waits. An unexpectedly detailed backstage commentary. I'd happily give the food another chance, but I hope the next performance has a different director.
