Every party needs a pooper, and I guess I'm just that party pooper.
I went to Lapis for Miami Spa month today with Grisel L. looking forward to leaving with the 3 R's - revived, refreshed and relaxed. But I apparently never got that far into the alphabet...
I was unimpressed, which was peculiar since everyone raves about this place. First off, the entrance to the spa is pretty tacky for such a high end spa. Merchandise like perfume, hair accessories and nail polish are lined up on the walk to the check-in desk. I felt like I was in Dolphin Mall. Secondly, I don't know if this is usually the case, but there were so many people booked for massages that I had NO WHERE TO SIT in the waiting room. I don't know about you, but standing around munching on strawberries in a robe with a cackling group of 15 women (no joke) is not very spa-like for me. It was terrible. I (and a few others) described it as a field trip or conveyor belt. Very impersonal.
Amenities are okay. They have a mineral pool, a mineral jacuzzi (um, isn't that just like the pool but with jet streams?), rain showers (I can just stand outside during a rainstorm - we are prone to those in Miami), and the Eucalyptus Steam Room (probably the only one I enjoyed). Additionally, locker #17 apparently hated me and would neither unlock or lock when I needed it to. I literally had to stand with all my weight up against it to get it to work.
The massage itself was okay. I opted for the Bamboo Fusion because it sounded new and adventurous, but quickly found out there was nothing glamorous about it since it's basically being rubbed with a bamboo stick. I would not recommend it - I kept hearing the stick squeak as the masseuse rolled it on my back, and after being poked in the head with it a few times, I was really to karate chop the hell out of it. But thankfully he put it away for a little while and just gave me a regular rub down. Hallelujah!
Service was okay, except that the girls in the spa check-in forgot to put the date on our pool passes where it specifically says "date." And due to this oversight, a 17 year old security officer (okay, 21, tops!) who took his job veeeery seriously wouldn't let us into the pool area, which resulted in us hoofing it all the way back to the spa to stand in line and correct this problem... but hey - at least we burned some calories from that strawberry water we had... good deal!
Positive comments: clean, modern facility; even offered little combs, shower caps, lotion, hair products and blowdryer/curling irons to spruce up.
But honestly, for being the big, bad FountaineBleau, I expected more. And putting all sarcasm aside, this review is really the experience Lapis had in store for me today. The most disappointing thing was the amount of clients that were booked for massages starting at the same time - waaay too many! I didn't leave revived, refreshed, or relaxed, and I have to say that Lapis was not, for me, all it was hyped up to be... read more