These days, we all go to the Cape for the same reason: to be there when someone is eaten by a shark so we can be the first to post a viral video. And then, the last day arrives and your hopes and dreams have been yet again shattered. I have a better idea: get your boring ass to JPs BBQ and the Cape Cod Brewery. We just went there and my mind is blown. I'm going back tomorrow. From Vancouver.
This is truly incredible food. Every person in our group was at a 5-star level. It would be irresponsible of you to come to the Cape and not eat here. But how can I convince you of that? I'll take a shot:
If Santa gave the Easter bunny a HJ in front of you with the Golden Gate Bridge as a backdrop and a Cape Cod sunset, you'd be less amazed than this BBQ.
If you told a leprechaun to tickle you in all the right places and he did it while you were drinking a Guinness out of a cowboy boot worn by Garth Brooks, no contest.
Joking aside, I had the pleasure of going to see JP with some of my best friends on National Hot Dog Day. It was hotter than two mice fournicating in a wool sock. Didn't matter. JPs stories are only bettered by his cooking. I can see how he had been on all theses national TV shows. The food is truly unreal. If you BBQ and have a brittle ego: stay away, he will make your guests think you can't even toast ice.
But wait, theres more! Given the big holiday. JP cooked up a special meal: "the killer challenge". Of, course our buddy ordered that. The disclaimers were outstanding: "do not touch your eyes after handling this. And anyone in your party who dares to try this, make sure they also don't touch their eyes. And don't touch their eyes." That was only the first warning. Next up: "here we have oyster crackers and dairy for you."
He didn't stand a chance. But then he did. One bite, two bites, short break. Three bites, this thing is almost gone! The hallucinations begin. "Omaha, Omaha, set... Billy, have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Hi folks and welcome to the Home Improvement Center, what projects are you working on today?"
The meals were insanely good and undoubtedly a highlight of our trip. Thanks JP can't wait to see you tomorrow morning. I take blueberry BBQ sauce on my pancakes.
***more to follow when he regains consciousness and the flames coming from his corn hole have subsided to a subtle glow. read more