Being the benighted savage that I inescapably am, I only learned of Jimmy John's in the past year or so. Exploring their corporate website, they have been in business, apparently, since the early 80s. They can't possibly have been in the Portland Metro during much of that prodigious length of time, can they? How could even a crashing bore, an insufferable ape, a poor benighted savage have this dandy litte franchise under his nose and within reach for any length of time, unawares, one can only wonder....
5 stars isn't given b/c they're the absolute best sandwiches in town---- that distinction still goes, in my book, straight to the visionary wizards @ Shut up and Eat, with East Side Deli in the 'Top 3 or 4' mix as well. 5 stars is b/c JJs are not only so much better than Subway, they dispatch large group orders so much FASTER, and in some cases will actually deliver 'em to your party! So there!
What is it about JJ's that makes such basics like turkey and bacon, Italian, even the plain veggie come alive and make your soul sing for about an hour afterwards? Added to that, Jimmy John's, indirectly at least, helped me realize a very big goal of sorts. A personal milestone, if you will. Segue...
I was on the tail end of a particularly frustrating relationship w/an unbelievable ingrate who I am now embarrassed to admit how much time and effort and yes, moolah I invested in, long after it became apparent that this would always be a woefully under-reciprocating relationship. I'm not exactly sure from what dimension such ingrates spring forth, but I've come to realize they are by no means a rare phemenon in our culture---- so that must mean systematic bad parenting, and the schools! Yes, let's not forget to recognize the schools' role in unleashing this present darkness! Being of a bookish turn (although of the admittedly, painfully amateurish variety), a couple of salient quotes come to mind, concerning the armies of the self-absorbed, the clueless and the selfish, in our midst....
"..."It's not much fun to be in love w/a girl who has no
imagination and no sense of humour," he thought, as
he listened (to her drone on about herself)...."
--Maugham, "Of Human Bondage"
"Hell is full of Ingrates." --- Cervantes, 'Don Quixote'
"...Well all you want is a whole lotta money,
all the rest is just JIVIN', honey....''
-S. Hagar/R. Springfield,"I've done everything for you (you've done nothing for me")
Each of us of course has our unique breaking points, and I like to think that one of the few, verifiable benefits of getting older is that we become more efficient and hopefully, quicker to recognize and respond appropriately, when we are being mistreated by others. After months of fruitless praying for wisdom and discernment and guidance during that drawn out, torturous relationship, it came to me suddenly one day: That I would be better off using the same amount of resources (actually, far less) on random strangers, that I would get more out of it, in terms of appreciation and satisfaction and actual fellowship, than I ever had with Ms. Snooty Patootie.
You know what? I was right!
Randomly (and attempted anonymously) springing for Jimmy John's for co-workers, on insanely busy evenings in my line of work, where 12+ hour shifts are the norm, and missing breaks/lunches is routine, produced some pretty spectacular results. The looks of stunned amazement and bewilderment and, catch this: GRATITUDE on everyone's beleagured countenances made the little investment more than worth every penny. Let's review: Jimmy John's for everyone lit up these people's faces and their souls, it built esprit d'cor, it was humbly received and devoured in earnest by one and all. Nobody tried to pick a dumb fight with me, no bad attitudes, no spoiled whining. Everyone was simply too busy gettin' DOWN on that Jimmy John's for all of that drama.
I have since duplicated this experiment, as it were, with eateries other than JJ's, but JJ's was one of the first, and the palpable excitement evinced was quite a sight for sore eyes. Thanks for everything, Jimmy John's! Not only did you conquer our hunger in the hours of our most desperate need; You helped answer a personal prayer, you restored a little faith in humanity---and you also made me personally feel a little more human, which is way more than any benighted savage could ever think he actually deserved.... *snapping fingers* oh yeah: thanks also for helping free me--albeit inadvertently-- from a really dumb relationship. I'll take a nice, prolonged helping of singledom over that, every time, guaranteed. read more