Ok, first things first -- the food in the Ivory is TERRIBLE.
I've eaten here a couple of times now, leaving it long enough each time to think (hope) that maybe it has gotten better. I mean, people still eat here so it must be doing something right, RIGHT? Not as far as I can tell.
The first time I ate here, it was for a birthday meal - pretty much everything was "meh", apart from the lamb shank which had been cooked into oblivion and was drier than the Sahara. I sent it back (something I almost never do) and the chef actually came out later and circled my table to "scope" me out! It was THAT obvious, why he couldn't have just spoken to me like a real man I'll never know.. Luckily I had declined a replacement meal as I have a feeling I'd have ended up wit a side portion of spit. We went elsewhere for dessert.
On my second visit, my party waited 45 minutes for our starters, and a further 45 for our mains. No lobsters or langoustines or anything complicated, just soups, sandwiches, pasta and burgers between us. One hour and a half before getting to the main course is unacceptable in a place like this. It wasn't even busy. The food itself (when it eventually came) was so utterly without redeeming qualities that I won't go any further other than to say they have a bloody cheek charging what they do.
The other big gripe I have with this place is the clientele - for a hotel, it seems to attract some of the roughest, hard looking people (and dare I say it, utter scum) from the surrounding area. Indeed, it appears that some of their "guests" look to be homeless benefits recipients. Ambience certainly isn't the word when you're sitting across from a tattoed troglodyte dressed in a vest top and Kappa trackie bottoms f'ing and blinding on his 17th pint of Carling...
So, why still two stars and not one? Well, for a quiet drink this place is ok. Expensive, yes (well, it is a "hotel"), but on a sunny day (when the Waverley Tearooms is guaranteed to be packed out) you can usually comandeer a bench on the suntrap outside the main door and have a pint or two in the sun. In any case, the range of beers/wines is pretty decent, and generally getting a seat is easy enough indoors when the weather is bad.
So - AVOID this place for food, AVOID for more than a couple of drinks and you'll be fine. Not the worst eaterie/or drinkerie (?) in Shawlands, but certainly in the bottom 20%. read more