I'm old enough to remember when my family first moved to this town during my teen years and there…read morewas a bowling alley in this location instead of a hardware store; said bowling alley long gone now, although you can sort of ascertain the configuration and outlines of that bygone "pleasure palace" for what passed for the working-class in Bernardsville (I can't imagine that the blue-bloods up in the posh Bernardsville mountains ever bowled; if they did, they probably had their own private bowling alleys set up on their estates) when you step into the store. It's a relatively small space, but I can't imagine not finding what you need down its narrow aisles and on its fully-stocked shelves.
My hardware needs are very limited. I'm not a "do-it-yourself" kinda guy. If I can nail 2 boards together without smashing my finger with the hammer in the process, I'm ahead of the game. Every couple of months, I buy an air filter here to replace my old one. And...that's about it.
Although, I've occasionally had other "hardware" needs, and Bernardsville Hardware has never let me down. When I needed a new flashlight, I bought it here. When I needed a kitchen timer, I bought it here. And then there was that mouse...
Years ago, my sister "gifted" me with a cat I didn't want, and didn't know was feral (believe me, this isn't one of my long-winded, irrelevant asides; it's germane to the review-- at least, I think it is). In short order, my furniture was destroyed, and I had semi-permanent red stripes up both of my arms, the result of my misguided efforts to be nice and friendly to the cat, given we both were sharing the same abode. I've always had a deathly fear of rodents and I figured...if nothing else...the cat would be useful if any somehow managed to enter my "mancave."
When, years later, the cat was on its last legs (and, believe it or not, I cried like a baby when I had to put it down), I was writing at my desk when I saw the cat acting in an odd, uncharacteristic manner. I couldn't figure it out until I saw a black rodent's head poking out from behind the corner of a nearby box. I'm embarrassed to say that I threw myself out of my chair, and yelled, "KILL IT! KILL THE MOTHERF****!!! KILL IT!!!" (So much for all that pacifistic Buddhist literature I had been reading...) My cat was unequal to the task, evidently thinking the mouse was an entertaining visitor, rather than a nauseating intruder. Practically unhinged, I drove down to Bernardsville Hardware, and asked in desperation what I could do.
The man unlucky enough to draw me as a customer (although he was very nice) explained to me the process for killing a mouse, provided me with glue traps and an old-fashioned mousetrap, describing how I should put some peanut butter on the trap and leave it up against the wall, where rodents tend to run and defecate.
I did as he suggested, although I was in despair, thinking this wasn't going to work. I went into my bedroom to try and read, listen to music and pray to a God I wasn't sure I believed in that this was all going to come out alright (but then what in my life ever does? Boo, hoo, hoo!!!...anyway...). I heard no sound, no indication that things had worked out as the hardware employee had predicted. But when I went to hazard a look, the trap had been sprung, and the intruder was dead (I'm actually glad it hadn't gone to the glue traps; I mean, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do when the mouse became stuck to them...Was I supposed to batter the mouse to death with a nearby golf club as it tried to free itself? I was still an executioner, but the old- fashioned mousetrap seemed like a more merciful death, at least to a timid soul like myself).
(For the curious, I think the mouse wormed its way through a screen door when I was working out in my living room during the chill of November, and I had the glass door open. At least, that's what I think. I've never been bothered by rodents since, thankfully.)
My girlfriend at the time lived down the hall and had a fireplace, so I asked if I could borrow the fireplace tongs to dispose of the mouse. Laughing at me and my distress at the thought of touching the thing, she agreed, but I can't help thinking that's one of the reasons we broke up not long afterward. Or maybe it was something else. Anyway...
Parking in the front can be tight, but there's ample parking off to the side. Inside, they even have a machine providing popcorn. I've never availed myself of it, but it's a nice touch.
Employees are friendly enough, although the last guy ringing me up took my $20 bill and held it up to the light, examining it from one angle, and then another. This isn't the only store where that's happened, and I get it that no business wants to be ripped off by someone distributing fugazy currency, but it was a bit off-putting.
Still, this is a close and convenient store for my limited hardware and mouse-killing needs. And I'm a big supporter of small businesses.
Recommended.
