Simply Slimming is a small, one-woman operation, in a salon collective called Salon Republic. I…read morebought a Groupon for a 120 minute simply slimming wrap that promised to shrink and detox me. Today was the day to cash in.
After the prerequisite paperwork, it was time to undress and get over myself. Women will be familiar with this moment, whether at a bikini wax or a bra fitting, where you just have to "get over yourself" and accept the fact you're going to be in a various state of undress with a stranger while they poke, prod, or measure you.
Amanda is a pro, so no self-consciousness there, even while she's measuring all your curvy parts in front of a full-sized mirror and making you watch. Once you're measured, then you are wrapped up with Dead Sea clay-soaked Ace bandages. This part was actually cool, since the sensation is a lot like being swaddled, and the bandages are all nice and warm and tight. But then, they start getting cold and wet, and you have to stand there, kind of moving around, for 45 minutes...
This is the part where my latent tom-boy says, "What?"
Don't worry, latent tom-boy says that during mani-pedis also. I like having my nails done, and being magically shrunk by dirt and bandages, but the waiting is the hardest part. Luckily, Amanda had some shows streaming on her laptop, so I watched the first episode of Pam Am (seriously, Christina Ricci? Interesting casting choice) and every 20 minutes, Amanda hosed my bandages down with some more Dead Sea soup, while I shook around like a dashboard ornament, or marched in place, or did invisible hula-hoop.
Once it was all over, she unwrapped me, which felt really liberating, and then she measured me again. I lost several inches all over, but not necessarily in the exact ratios and areas I wanted, though that has more to do with me, than Amanda. I wanted to buy a package deal to have a few more done, since that's what recommended, but my house-poverty and the tom-boy would not allow it. I'll have to do it sometime when she's not looking ;)