FUTURE NOSTALGIA BREAKS THE INTERNET
OooGaa, me Caveman Zog! Zog take 2 Flintstones vitamins, scratch head, look in mirror. Zog not ugly-- only facially challenged. Maybe in future long beard and cave-art on face come back in style?
Now Zog go invent wheel (for Zog pet hamster); fire (Zog wear corduroys and run in woods); and rock-phone (3 hours later: *rrrriiiiinnggg* Zog: "Oh FFS spam already?"). Zog invent mute button. Zog now tired, need vacay.
Zog travel though wormhole to 2024 era for weekend time-machine getaway. Zog sees other footprint? Zog shakes head-- traffic so bad in future. Zog hungry from traveling. Find big stick in man-cave, hunt for wooly mammal in Oceanside. Zog find 2 mammoth paleo tacos at HomeState.
Then Zog follow footprints find woman who wears animal print, gives hug like bear. Zog say "OooGaa-OooGaa" - means "Zog take you out clubbing then feed food" in cave language. Zog invent new thing: love bombing.
After clubbing Zog bring woman back to man-cave. Woman give Zog cute name "Stone Cold Steve Austin". Zog nickname to her: "Easy Future Woman Smell Like Sephora Store". Sit by fire with marshmallow on stick, phone on mute, serenade with rock guitar. Easy-F and Zog Netflix and Chill.
Zog travel trip have surprise ending. Zog and Easy-F have pillow fight. With stone pillow. Zog forgot rule: "Don't throw stones in glass caves". Zog go back to prehistoric time before Easy-F get even. Zog latest invention: hit it and quit it. Ooogaa Ooogaa. Zog is all that is man.
Pro tip: All your favorites here: HomeState rock solid Tacos, stone pies from Corner Pizza, Artifex Paleo Ale, BlackMarket Bakery for blueberry stones, Little Fox gourmet ice age cream, or Tanners Club Sandwiches. 4 1/2 stones. read more