If perfection is what you're after--look to the heavens. Look here only if your after a world-class burger of the highest Earthly and possible degree.
This un-veling (not review) will combine my collective experiences of 5-guys (5G) from the central east-coast to central-mississippi. They all deliver a product which is at once: 1) almost-perfect; 2) uniform; and 3) nostalgic beyond our being. Gather your napkins for tears and grease. This is going to be a mess.
My excitement grew ever as I exchanged coy glances and sharp eye aversions from the brown paper sack sitting before me. Its motley grease-stained contours bent over and toward me, so slightly and seductively.
I acted. At once, I reached in and immediately recoiled by burned finger as I shouted, "hot damn!" finding something quite heavy tautly wrapped tin foil. I was flushed with pleasure as my aching hands gained contact with the curves and weight of that mysterious and metallic object. Judiciously, I decided not to be "too available." I put that heavy paper-weight aside as I reached further into that old lunch sack...
Reaching in, I felt that signature salty-sandpaper exterior of that pleasant bed of fries made just for you. Instinctively, I dunked the heartiest and most fit salty hunk of potato into my catsup trough and slurped it up with a confused bliss. After about 5 minutes of repeating the same, my hazel eyes looked sharply to that metallic heap of protein and veggies on the edge of the dining counter.
As I unveiled the the tin-foil, I looked at with the confidence of a new bride and with the promise 5G made to me since our relationship began. Confidently and proudly, I brushed my nose against the fresh cool-green lettuce and giggled as it tickled me when it was jutting awkwardly from the side. I tasted the cold onion and savored the specially-order jalapeños which almost bit me back with equal vigor. My mouth swelled passionately.
The American cheese had long-since seeped into the crevices of the 100% quality beef exterior as I eyed that last bite. I was tired now, an entire lifetime had occurred. The veggies, once crisp and strong, wilted before my eyes as the cheese and beef juices swelled passionately. I was not really that hungry after being so succulently satisfied. It was so much food I couldn't stand it.
Dutifully, I remembered the promise made far before the unveiling and unraveling of that tin foil and my burger-bride. Although I couldn't recognize it in the end- I left my meal with feelings of times more pleasant than these before us.
Those wannabe fries knocked it down from a 5-star to a 4-star. Yes...it matters. read more