If you come here, better ride in a FRIEND'S CAR
Cause your belly skin won't break, but it will really BEND FAR
Forget the Matcha Fad, you can put it in your TREND JAR
Forget your Spiked Smoothie, cause this is not a BLEND BAR
I cut Barbie's credit card, so now I have a SPEND SCAR
But it wasn't a real fight, only a PRETEND SPAR
Buying lots of Boba is the way to my GIRLFRIEND'S HEART
And I borrowed masking make up from JEFFREE "LEND" STARR
But if you're in Dallas and wanna know who your FRIENDS ARE
Friends don't let friends drive Boba Drunk from FENG CHA!
What to get: Everything is good!
But what is the best stuff tho!?: Brown Sugar Milk Tea (ask for lots of extra Brown Sugar)
And: Fresh Lemon Black tea is phenomenal, amazing, might need extra sweetness, might not.
If they made kebabs, they'd be Feng Char. If they could turn back time, they'd be Feng Cher, and they'd be frequented by Gypsies Tramps and Thieves and would disown their lesbian daughter. Just kidding about the daughter babe! I got you babe!
So I finally got around to reviewing Barbie's all time fave Boba in DFW (and one of my top 5 for sure), and lo and behold, there's now another Feng Cha in the Dalitos area! In Arlington of all places. So why, pray tell, does DFW get two of these, when Houston only has one, which is a stall in a Mall full of issues and muchos problemas!? The NYC location is great too. Why does Dallas have twice as many as NYC?! Well, good for Dallas, but let me say, Houston and NYC are rightly jealitos!
They keep the place pretty clean. I guess the employees are not afraid of the odd Feng Chore. If you want to dance with the Stars, you can do the Feng Cha Cha. And if you write on their blackboard, use the Feng Chalk.
We're big fans of the Feng Cha franchise. Barbie likes it a little more than I do, it might be her fave franchise after Tea Top. All locations have some of the friendliest service and best decor of the major chains. High-class, cozy, very feng shui, and reminds me of Tea House Formosa in Atlanta in some ways. Which you probably haven't been to so why did I name drop it just now #NameDrop #Why #Did-I.
Actually I think that's exactly why they're called Feng Cha now that I think about it. Because their place looks very Feng Shui!
And I wouldn't sit on the floor if I were you. Just plop yourself in a comfy Feng Chair.
Or kill all the customers with a gun (all guns should be outlawed), and you'll get the Feng Electric Chair.
The products are very good and one thing I really like about them is that they are willing to Taylor them to exactly what you want. Actually I meant to say Tailor, but my voice dictation apparently loves rich suburban princesses (but then so do I). And Calvin Harris, well he got Taylored in a way that he didn't want.
So whereas some places refuse to put their brown sugar milk in the form of a milk tea, these guys do. And they'll add more and more brown sugar until it's exactly how you want it. Now that's what I call servicing a customer (which is what Barbie's clients all said). Granted, the most recent time they did not add nearly enough brown sugar to it, so I could hardly taste the brown sugar element - but it was still tasty, and they did a couple of re-dos for me which was appreciated, and appreci-9-ed too.
And if you come in dressed like a Dallas Cowboys girl, fake tan and fake hair and fake body parts on show, then other than Barbie thinking you're a mirror and me asking you out, you'll be able to Feng Cheer.
Barbie adores her fruit drinks from here as well. Real Lemons in the Lemon Black Tea. Less sweet than Sharetea, more real than Kung Fu Tea. Has a subtle and delicious flavour. Excellent.
And if you spill the sticky teas all over you (or anything else sticky, for example if Barbie is here when you come in, so to speak), you'll need to Feng Shower.
This Dallas location is definitely a little better than the one in Manhattan that I've tried - which I also really like. Both places have great service. However the third location I've been to - which also has great service - was massively below standards when it came to the products and that is sadly the one in my new sort-of temp-hometown of Houston Texas - specifically in the mall in Katy. Perhaps it's because it's in the mall that they can't meet the standards of this amazing location with plenty of varied seating and a beautiful cuddly bear on the way in. However the new Arlington location, according to the internet, has 2 bears. That's almost too much 2 bear.
And if you desperately need a filling for your taco, I can whip out my Feng Chorizo.
The girls working here are really nice and cute and they definitely are accommodating, able to fix things up however you want them. And Barbie can fix herself up however you want her, but only if you're very rich, and as generous as you are rich.
If you liked this review, please send me a Feng request.
Or if you're on hangouts, you can send me a Feng Chat. read more