At first, my review was going to be "Do your homework - it's a 4g connection, using WIMax. It's not going to be that great, and can't compete with broadband or fiber."
But today is a day of reckoning for Clear. Today is the day I write a strongly-worded review on Yelp. May god have mercy on their thingies.
So I ain't never done no Yelpin' before, but after waiting on hold for nearly an hour when requesting cancellation of my Clear account, my advice, *especially* if you're a heavy Internet user, is to just invest in another ISP, if available.
If this is your only choice, just know that Netflix sessions will be *some of the most stressful nights in your life*. I'm talking frozen Futurama screens, and then you get all frustrated because it's the ONLY episode of Futurama you've missed, and you won't have time to watch any Netflix for like three days because you have crazy-long shifts at work and Jim won't switch with you because he's a douche. I hate you Jim.
Or it's the *one* night you're going on a date with the super hot girl in Accounts Receivable - the one that's been ignoring you for almost a year - who for some reason has finally decided to go out with you. The date goes well, you're back at your place, and she turns to you and says "Let's watch a movie!"
Know what that means, bro? Huh, do you?
That means it's *business time*. It's girl code for humpy magic time. Well, usually.
As you may or may not know, you can't just go for it when she says that. You have to decide together on a movie, type the letter "N" in your browser, hit enter, and let auto-complete take you to netflix.com, and pick the movie to pretend to watch.
Maybe she'll pretend to be scared during a Zombie flick, or maybe you'll be brave and watch 'Eat Pray Love' or some other Godless horror-show she loves...
Ok, right. Nevermind all that. Remember, Netflix is like the only company on the planet that uses Silverlight, and you have to update. Right now. Too bad you only have an XBox and anime DVDs. We're stickin' with netflix, then.
38.5mb - shouldn't take long, right? Watch that download bar, because every kilobyte inches you closer to awesomeness - or total failure. There is NO middle ground here. You're both braindead, consumed with pheromones and hump-glitter. The conversation is only grunts. "I like stuff." and so on.
But, you're shy! Or maybe she is. We both know it's not gonna happen like "Aw, babe, the internet is down, and guess what? So are my pants". You both have to *connect* with each other by watching Mystery Science Theater, or Doctor Who, or Firefly, or Star Trek. I'm sure there are other shows besides those, but I haven't checked.
So then you finally get the update, and guess what? It's raining outside, and your Clear service is down. Not like "reboot the router and everything will be ok" down, I mean "I haven't had Internet access in six hours and don't know who I am anymore" down.
I've been there, man, and it's not a place you want to go...this "outside". It's loud, you have to communicate with people VERBALLY for Pete's sake, and there is no sync option.
Beware all ye who get Clear service. read more