My friend Kingsley was convinced that Philly Chinatown was THE place to be on Christmas day, even though I kept reminding him this is not New York. No matter-K. has a mind of his own, so after doing my other familial and social rounds on 12/25, the afternoon found me wandering rather aimlessly around Race, Arch, 9th and 10th Streets as Kingsley studiously consulted his phone in order to find places that were open.
We supped modestly at a few hole in the wall stand bys that probably never close but he still was in need of more dopamine and ethanol refreshment so he told me cocktails at Bubblefish would be just the ticket. While I'd never been to the place before, I also didn't think it had a bar or any cocktails, speciality or otherwise, and told him so. He gave me The Look and said he'd call lest I waste my time and wear out precious shoe leather just walking over to see if that was the case. The phone rang and rang-maybe 20 rings-before it was picked up. My friend was told the restaurant was open and he asked if they served cocktails. The party on the other end seemed flummoxed as to the definition of 'cocktails' so Kingsley changed the query to, "Do you serve booze?" and was met with the equivalent of 'huh?!" He looked at me for help and I suggested asking if there was a liquor license and did they serve alcohol. That got a resounding yes, so he grabbed my scarf and pulled me along with a vengeance to 9th and Arch.
The place was reasonably populated but even though there were a good number of seats in the front of the house, we were shown to a way too big for two banquette over by the toilets. As we were led to the seats of shame, I noticed no bar or bottles anywhere. Not good.
We were given a menu-a food menu-and left to peruse and decide. Since we had been eating lightly but steadily for a few hours, we felt a drink or two would suffice along with 2 or 3 small plates of something. We choose chicken skewers, beef skewers, shrimp tempura and takoyaki. There was no drink menu so when our server re-appeared to take our order, K. asked for the drinks menu. The young woman pointed out the many iterations of bubble tea, citing a few of her favorites. Kingsley was having none of it and said he wanted a glass of wine or beer. The woman looked offended and said there was no beer and wine was only sold in bottles. We opted for a pot of hot tea and I had to put up with my friend's angry bitching until our food arrived.
The shrimp tempura promised 3 shrimp in the menu. We were served only 2 along with a pile of tasteless, greasy vegetables. The frying oil was not hot enough so each piece of tempura was enrobed in a limp, oil sopping coat of breading. Some pieces were unidentifiable-lotus root? Potato? Mushroom? The shrimp tasted frozen and old. Both kinds of skewers came with no sauce or seasoning, just protein on a stick, and over cooked at that. We tried to get the server's attention several times to cancel the takoyaki since we did not want to stay or eat anything else. She ignored us and then sat down to take a break. I suggested we go to the cashier and ask to skip the takoyaki since we had now been waiting far too long but Kingsley wanted to be miserable so he sat and complained that I was a horse's ass to choose this place. I was just getting up to go to the front and ask to pay for the meal when the takoyaki showed up. Kingsley said we had waited far too long for it, we had finished all the other food and wanted it taken off the bill. The young server seemed upset, apologized and said she would package it up to go. At that point, I just wanted to get out of the restaurant and my (ahem) friend's company and go home to some spiked eggnog, Madonna singing "Santa Baby" and a few Dave Koz tunes. We paid. We left.
Bubblefish may very well be good for sushi; I'll never know. I do know that they don't serve cocktails, they don't have a bar and their tempura game is way way off.
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