I stopped by today, for lunch and dinner between an Airbnb and a move to my new apartment in Eagan, just South of St. Paul. I was taking refuge from the downpour.
I ran up a $59.00 tab. Just around 3pm I asked for another round and to maybe order more food. I was told, surprisingly, that I couldn't order more. I was shocked, as I had generally kept to myself during the few hours I had been there. In fact, I spent the majority of my time on the phone with a new love interest and my cousin, in Florida who just opened up a new shop for her business (disclaimer, I cried out of happiness for her).
When I asked for feedback as to why I was being asked to leave, I was given no answer. Just that the bartender who served me felt it necessary. I asked for some feedback, in the hope to be a better patron. It was first time there and having worked in restaurants for 15 years, it difficult to understand why I was being asked to leave.
At some point a gentlemen, who night have been a manager came over, rather aggressively. I told him, np, just trying to get some understanding as to what happened. He said, vaguely, a number of things had. I said okay, np, what were those things? His general response was that I wasn't doing myself any favors by asking. Moreover, he said "I can pay or there would be a problem." I said, I'm not disputing payment at all, I'm just trying to figure how to do better. His reply was to the effect it's a subjective opinion and flat out refused to indicate what I may have done to warrant his and his staff's behavior.
Until that moment, I really had loved my experience there. But the lack of an objective reason to refuse service, and the impression from management they need not explain why they were refusing service, was astounding. Generally, I had ate brussel sprouts,had a few drinks, and hoped to order dinner. I stepped outside to have some nicotine and other than that, spent my time either texting / sending voice memos to a new love interest and spoke to my cousin about her business.
Since I could not get objective feedback from staff, who were overwhelmingly cis straight men, I can only imagine it was the happy tears I shed for my cousin's new business? I really didn't get any feedback that would give me an understanding of how to be a better patron. I paid my tab, no tip, and am literally writing this from the Caribou next door.
I don't know what could have been done differently, but my instinct says that queer folks and sensitive, emotionally in touch men should avoid this bar. It felt like a gaslight, where they seemed to imply I should know what I did wrong while also being audaciously angry I would ask for constructive feedback.
I certainly no longer feel safe in this bar and would caution anyone who isn't a straight bro to avoid. God forbid you show real human emotions while otherwise minding your own business. The most disturbing part was the insistence that I didn't deserve constructive feedback and that even asking for that was "not doing me any favors."
Not a safe place. 0/10 read more