Alberto's serves some of the nastiest Mexican food I have ever fucking had. I should have known better because anyplace that has to call itself authentic, usually ends up being the total opposite. ¡Que lástima!
I ended up in El Monte for work and decided to go to Alberto's because my dumbass contractor recommended it. Let's just say that I want to punch his face right now while writing this review.
Anyways, let me cut to the chase and tell you everything wrong about this place because there is absolutely nothing good.
First of all, the parking sucks because of the weird ass drive-thru and irregularly-shaped lot that the restaurant is built on. Next, the building is a 542-square foot "hut" with very limited countertop seating so you need to eat outside at one of the picnic tables adjacent to the parking lot. Also, there are way too many food items and combinations that had me wondering how can they actually make this shit fresh? And once you can figure out what you want, you will be greeted by the angriest cashier lady this side of the border. As for the food? Well it was whack.
After much deliberation and trying to figure out what to order I decided to play it safe and ended up ordering four regular-sized tacos: two carne asada and two adobada (marinated pork). Yes, I ordered pork despite the chance of getting neurocysticercosis (a condition caused by eating undercooked pork where parasites invade your body and attack your brain).
When my order was ready, to my surprise I saw that the tacos were gigantic. Two tacos filled an entire styrofoam to-go box... Normally, more food would be good, but unfortunately, more disgusting food is definitely not good. The only other times I have felt that too much food was bad were when I'd go to a buffet and sit down with a plate of food to realize that everything on the plate tasted like shit or when I'd go to my now deceased grandma's house to eat (let's just say that she was never a good cook to begin with but as she grew older it became noticeably worse - even with the use of MSG).
So back to the tacos... the carne asada tasted pre-cooked and was way too sinewy, which is a sign of cheap cuts of meat. Furthermore, there was no flavor to the meat other than the so-so guacamole sauce, tomatoes, onions, and cilantro. As for the adobada, let's just say that it was adoBADa. Similar to the carne asada meat, the adobada was sinewy. The pork appeared to have been cooked in a meh-diocre tomato-bisque kind of sauce that was topped with the same so-so guacamole sauce, tomatoes, onions, and cilantro.
Sometimes when the tacos suck, the salsas can come to the rescue like King Taco across the street. Too bad I hate King Taco as well. As for Alberto's, their salsas are god-awful. The salsa roja was like the tomato-bisque sauce used to marinate the adobada. The only comparison I could make is that it reminded me of the sauce provided at Salvadoran pupuserias. No spicy-factor whatsoever... and I thought this place was supposed to be authentic Mexican! Where the fuck was the caliente?
The salsa verde was a little better, but a little better than shit is still pretty shitty. I mean, it seemed to be a tomatillo-based sauce, but it lacked any depth to its flavors. To be frank, a part of me wanted to run across the street to the Mexican market to get a bottle of Tapatio to replace the salsa roja and to get some limes to try and rescue the salsa verde.
In the end I ended up eating one of each taco and throwing away the remaining two. All I can say is that this place serves some really nasty "authentic" Meh-ican/Mexi-can't crap.
Pic of carne asada tacos:
http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/9KkJO-LeZCNBkboA5TLn0Q#Q4vXYfeqiUzGun2kFTDy7w
Pic of adobada tacos:
http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/9KkJO-LeZCNBkboA5TLn0Q#0SZQ-mzu_0lXrzb-O283GQ
And what is up with that tree house next door that is like a disaster waiting to happen. I can imagine kids being impaled.
http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/9KkJO-LeZCNBkboA5TLn0Q#0H2ADQR8oCvY9SwA9-dGcw
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Link to Neurocysticercosis - a disease that is spreading amongst pork eating Latinos (and this Asian guy) in California:
http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/guest-blog/2012/09/06/tapeworm-in-her-brain/ read more