Think about the last time you checked into a hotel. Think about how friendly the teenager or night manager who checked you in was, and how stiff the bed was, and how much everything cost in the mini bar? Remember the peeling wall paper, and unbelievably comfortable chair next to the little shitty coffee pot, adjacent to the ancient TV?
Forget all of that, and let me tell you how a Hotel should be.
I've never really loved a hotel before; I've been lucky enough to say in penthouse suites in Atlantic City, 5 star hotels in Dublin, London, LA, and the rest. While they were all fine in their own ways, none of them made me want to come back (yes yes, the four seasons treats you very nicely...but it's all fake, every last fucking smile). The Hoxton is, well..different. Maybe it's a product of Dutch culture? They are the happiest people on earth..it's almost sickening how polite they are..until you realize what a better place to live Holland must be when people aren't screaming at you to get the fuck out of their, way as you wait for a tram (that runs on sunshine and corn...as opposed to NYC buses that run on orphan blood and extra leaded gas). Just saying, its nice when a group of people live together and are polite about it. the reception at the Hoxton is a prime example of this. When they ask you if they can do anything for you, they mean it. bottles of water, inquires about how your time is, or if you're enjoying yourself in Amsterdam. The staff is fabulous, there is no other way to say it.
Like I said, sickening.
the rooms themselves were as awesome as they come. You walk in to a satellite radio (wrapped in leather, high quality) playing a station that fits with the vibe of the hotel. The bed dominates the room, and is extraordinarily comfortable. Don't feel like going down for breakfast (because, as we said earlier, fuck happy people), hang your recycled paper bag outside your door, and the good folks at the Hoxton will fill it with granola yogurt, fruit, and juice. The shower in the bathroom is outstanding, and the exposed copper pipe that brings the hot water to the aforementioned shower works as a towel drying rack. The mini bar has sparkling water and milk in it, which can be replaced at the front desk free of charge (2 euro Heineken's can also be purchased at the front desk to bring back with you, for when you are inevitably destroying some halal food after a long night out in Mokum). This type of quality would cost a whole lot more in New York*, but when you make things this well it's kind of hard to fail.
The last thing I will mention about the Hoxton is the dining area/lounge. Locals fill the place up during the day to work on their laptops and sip on coffee. The restaurant is adjacent and serves up a mean burger (10 euro), and a surprisingly good beet salad (8 euro I think?). If you're looking for a good Americano to go, they will make you one at the bar to go on your way out the door in the morning, and are happy to charge it to your room (3 euro a cup, worth it). The flow of the whole hotel starts at this lounge and carries right up to your room, so soak it in.
Were there a 6th star option, this place would be pretty damn high on my list of deserving joints; if you are looking for a place to crash in Amsterdam, do yourself a favor and do it here.
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*They are opening a location in Brooklyn this year, and I can't wait to check it out - I 100% plan on spending a night with them (and be best friends with them..assuming they are half as nice as their Dutch counterparts...hell I may just move in). read more