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    T N T Espresso

    4.8 (8 reviews)
    ModerateCoffee & Tea

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    The Dusty Shelf - books

    The Dusty Shelf

    (5 reviews)

    THE DUSTY SHELF: WHERE COFFEE MEETS CARVED SWAYZE SANCTUARY…read more Listen, their pour-over coffee is a masterpiece - each cup meticulously prepared with water so pure it makes angels weep. BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE LIFE-SIZED HAND-CARVED CEDAR STATUE OF PATRICK SWAYZE FROM "POINT BREAK" DOING A PERFECT BACKSIDE AIR WHILE HOLDING AN ESPRESSO CUP? It's positioned by the cream and sugar station with such precision that when the morning light hits it, even the FBI agents would cry. Their Earl Grey is sourced from a secret garden tended by tea mystics. Whatever. Because I just witnessed the unveiling of their newest masterpiece: a mahogany Swayze in full "Dirty Dancing" lift pose, holding aloft not Jennifer Grey, but a perfectly balanced chai latte. The craftsmanship on those wooden dance pants is UNPRECEDENTED. Sure, their single-origin Ethiopian beans are hand-selected by monks who've taken a vow of excellent taste. But let's talk about what's really important: the rotating display of "Road House" Swayze carvings, each depicting a different roundhouse kick frozen in pine and oak. The one where he's simultaneously bouncing a troublemaker AND pulling a perfect shot of espresso? *chef's kiss* The baristas can discuss coffee varietals with scholarly precision, but can they explain why I just spent three hours staring at the intricate detail work on the "Ghost" sculpture where Swayze's wooden hands are simultaneously throwing pottery AND tamping espresso grounds? The artist even carved tiny clay spatter on his rolled-up sleeves! Their matcha ceremony is a testament to tradition. Cool. But have you seen the walnut Swayze from "Black Dog" arm-wrestling a bear while balancing a French press on his head? They say it took seven master carvers and one Patrick Swayze historian to get the mullet exactly right. The wall of Swayze isn't just art - it's a timeline of cinematic history carved in exotic hardwoods. They've arranged the statues chronologically, with special lighting that makes them appear to dance at exactly 3:17 PM every day. I've rearranged my entire work schedule around this miracle. Five stars for their beverage program - their commitment to craft is outstanding. But INFINITE SWAYZE stars for creating the world's first coffee shop/Swayze sculpture garden. I've started hosting guided tours. Tuesday's theme is "From 'The Outsiders' to Outer Bark: A Journey Through Wooden Swayze Evolution." P.S. I heard they're commissioning a new piece: Swayze from "To Wong Foo" carved entirely from rare purple heartwood. I've already taken out a second mortgage to fund my daily visits during the carving process. P.P.S. The pastries are excellent too, but have you seen how they're displayed on shelves supported by brackets carved to look like Swayze's perfectly chiseled jawline? That's attention to detail. Note: To the health inspector who questioned whether wooden Swayze statues belong near food preparation areas - clearly you've never experienced the purifying power of Patrick's carved gaze watching over your coffee grinding technique. Special Addendum: I'm not saying they should add more, but I am saying there's a conspicuous lack of "Steel Dawn" Swayze wielding a sword made of coffee stirrers. Just an observation. Remember: Nobody puts Swayze in the corner. They put him on handcrafted pedestals made from reclaimed barn wood, illuminated by vintage Edison bulbs that make his wooden muscles glisten like morning dew on a coffee leaf.

    Love this business! A cute, not so little bookstore cafe at the bottom of Mt Rainier, and we…read moreenjoyed every minute of it. So many books to choose from, new and old, and a glass of wine, some yummy fudge and good conversation. Emma was so sweet and shared lots of good information to these out of towners.

    T N T Espresso - coffee - Updated May 2026

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