I imagine that when a crew of four shows up at your off-grid ranch wearing Starfleet uniforms, your first thought is, "Gosh, these folks look like the rugged outdoorsy types who will do GREAT with no Internet connectivity!"
Surprisingly, however, we were not entirely suited to the ranch setup. In truth, this was largely due to under-preparation: as captain, it was my responsibility to thoroughly review the details on the ranch before our trip, and I did not do so. Things I should have known, and briefed the crew on:
* "Off the grid" means not just no wifi, but no phone coverage. While Starfleet made us aware that this planet's telecommunications grid is still patchy, we did not realize we were traveling outside comms range. This proved to be an interesting but unanticipated experience that made our junior crew members quite nervous.
* The ranch is not actually in Stekehin, but upriver. This meant that there was no ready lake access for swimming, which led to some concern about whether we would overheat in our uniforms. I am pleased to report that despite extreme heat we were quite comfortable in the cool of our cabin.
* Transportation to and from the ranch is dependent on the ranch's bus schedule. While we knew this would be more time-consuming than a transporter, we had not anticipated that it would essentially take an hour each way, nor that the departure schedule would involve leaving the ranch at 0900 hours and then waiting two hours in Stehekin for our boat. Also note that it is quite a bumpy ride, so I recommend that the female members of any crew plan on...well, let's just say I could have used some stronger inertial dampeners in the pectoral region.
* While the Prime Directive generally discourages contact with pre-warp civilizations, in this case it would have been useful for us to speak with the ranch before booking, and certainly before traveling, in order to get a clearer picture of logistics.
* Our limited ability to cope without telecoms meant that our crew would be unlikely to enjoy this setting for more than 24 hours, but more primitive species who are accustomed to such an existence would likely find this to be an extremely complex trip for such a short stay. It is hard to imagine that humans would be happy making this journey for less than two or three nights.
Setting aside my own under-preparation, we found the ranch accommodations very pleasant (in a full cabin, not a tent cabin) though it must be noted that since one of our junior crew members is from a planet that does not use open stairwells, the ladder-like stairs to the loft were prohibitive and led to him sleeping on the sofa. The ranch grounds are lovely and gave our crew a chance to explore the human pastime of "boomerang". Also, a four-legged species we encountered while at the ranch kindly led my first officer to a plaything that turned out to be a newborn rodent (the ship's computer suggested it was a squirrel), so that was an enormously interesting scientific opportunity for the whole crew.
Finally, I must confess to some regret about the dietary experience in this setting. While all four species in our crew were able to enjoy the human delicacy known as "pie", there was far less consensus on the other food options. Our Klingon crew member, who has satisfied their blood lust by eating steak all across this planet, rightly declared the grilled steak to be excessively charred, so that it tasted like charcoal rather than (as Klingons and many humans prefer) meat. Overall, we agreed that the baking was far superior to the cooking.
I have no doubt that the ranch would offer a highly enjoyable experience to the many humans whose notion of adventure and wide-open exploration do not yet extend to space travel. I am afraid that for our crew, it was not a fit. read more