I have to believe that the only reason this place is still in business is because there are enough…read moretourists that will eat here when there is literally nowhere else to go.
Six items were on the menu: a soup of the day (rice and chicken) with bread, a ham and cheese sandwich, a chicken/bacon/sweetcorn sandwich (check the TripAdviser reviews if you want to hear more about that one), a vegan cheese and pickle sandwich, a pulled pork wrap, and a falafel/mango chutney wrap. Five pages of the six-page menu were drinks, coffee, and alcohol. This is not a food place. It looks like one. Based on old reviews and photos, maybe it used to be one. I did come in the afternoon, so maybe it's better for breakfast. Or maybe not.
For the amount and quality of sandwich I got for 5 quid, I should have just gotten a meal deal at the co-op. Genuinely, a meal deal sandwich would have been better quality. My ham and cheese did have both ingredients, but the cheese was shredded and the ham was very thin-sliced and overwhelmed by the cheese. My guess is that it's made to be toasted, hence the shredded cheese, and that was an option for 20 pence-- but why on God's green Earth would you serve a cold sandwich with shredded cheese? The bread was bland and basic-- fine if you're making yourself something at home, but not something worth paying for at all.
(Again, it was like a meal deal sandwich. But worse. I would never disrespect a meal deal sandwich like this.)
Based on the service (or lack thereof) we received from the very beginning, I should have listened to my intuition and gotten up to find somewhere better. The wait staff are called that, I assume, because they will wait ten minutes for you to ask them if they can take your order, only to be repeatedly rude to you when you politely ask for the bare minimum amount of service. Full disclosure: I have worked in food service before. I sympathize with anyone who has to deal with customers. But when we weren't served, and went up to ask if our order could be taken, we were snapped at and told to go back to our table. No "apologies, someone will be there shortly". Not even a "sorry for the wait, we're very busy right now". Just "go back to your table". So we did.
Which was a huge mistake. I've lived in Scotland for more than a year and I don't know if I've ever had a meal that depressing since living here. And I've made Pasta in Sauce at 3am with just water because I ran out of milk.
I won't be too hard on our table's waiter because he was very young and inexperienced, and I expect he's received minimal, if any, training on how to wait tables. I honestly felt bad for him. He looked as though he would rather be anywhere else. In that way I felt a real connection to the wait staff; in fact, it was the only time I actually felt truly seen by them. I, too, would rather have been anywhere else. But that's not necessarily the vibe you want to be getting when you walk into a place.
This place would be better off selling ready-made, takeaway sandwiches rather than masquerading as a restaurant and disappointing us at every turn. Seriously. Not to quote other media in a literal Yelp review, but my expectations were low and I was still let down. The only saving grace of this place was that it was clean and had wifi that was strong enough for me to send this picture of my sandwich to my friends and go "????????". Also there were two very cute dogs outside, although I don't believe they were hired by the restaurant.
If you're desperate for food and don't really mind what you're spending money on, then this place is fine. Like I said, at least it's clean and has decent wifi. But I would not waste my time here twice.
