I don't even know where to begin. After hearing a friend rave about this place--let's just call it "Sea & Cluck"--I decided to give it a shot. Big mistake. Big. Huge. From the moment I walked in, it was clear I was about to experience something truly horrific.
First of all, the atmosphere. The lighting? Terrible. It was like they bought every broken, mismatched bulb from a dollar store. Dim, flickering lights hung awkwardly from the ceiling, casting strange shadows that gave the whole place a depressing, haunted-house vibe. The floors were sticky--not just a little sticky, but like someone had spilled syrup, and no one bothered to clean it up for days. My shoes made an embarrassing splat sound with each step.
I tried to shrug it off and focus on the menu, but that was a mistake in itself. It looked like it was printed on paper from the 90s, and it was stained with what I hope was just oil. The shrimp-and-chicken combo sounded promising, so I went with the "signature platter," which--based on the description--should have been a seafood and poultry masterpiece. Spoiler alert: it was not.
The shrimp? Unbelievably awful. They were rubbery, overcooked, and smelled faintly of ammonia. The breading around them was so thick and greasy that it could've been used as a coat of armor. I'm pretty sure they were frozen for years before being deep-fried, as they tasted more like plastic than shrimp. I don't know how anyone could mess up shrimp this badly, but Sea & Cluck managed it with flying colors.
Now, the chicken. Oh God, the chicken. I can't even call it chicken. It was a sad, sad excuse for poultry. First, it looked like it had been dredged in cement. The skin was dry and tough, like it was left under a heat lamp for hours. When I took a bite, I almost broke a tooth. I don't even know how it was possible, but it was like the chicken was somehow both undercooked and overcooked at the same time. The flavor? Bland doesn't even cover it. It tasted like they dipped it in a bucket of salt and then forgot to cook it with any seasoning. The texture was like chewing on cardboard. I tried to choke down a piece, but after one more bite, I gave up.
The side dishes weren't much better. The coleslaw was drowning in a runny, soupy dressing that tasted like someone had mixed mayonnaise with pickle juice. The fries, if you can call them that, were limp and soggy--like they were soaked in oil and left in the fryer far too long. I'm convinced they were just pre-packaged frozen fries, poorly reheated.
And don't even get me started on the service. The waiter was slow, disinterested, and had the vibe of someone who would rather be anywhere else--probably doing literally anything but working at shkimp. He couldn't remember the specials, dropped my drink twice, and when I asked about the shrimp's quality, he stared at me blankly as if I had asked him to explain quantum physics.
To top it all off, the music they were playing was some weird mix of elevator jazz and a karaoke version of "I Will Survive." It was like being trapped in a nightmare where nothing could go right.
I would've left after the first few bites, but I was too embarrassed to make a scene. But trust me, I won't be coming back. Ever.
Final Verdict: A true disaster in every sense. Skip the shrimp. Skip the chicken. Skip the whole place. There are plenty of better options out there that won't make you question your very existence. read more