Oh, gather 'round, folks, and let me recount our bewildering journey into what was once a culinary haven, now transformed into a perplexing commercial ordeal! Can you believe it? This place, which used to be a gastronomic delight, has turned into a tourist trap extraordinaire! It's as if they've taken a page out of the Senior Frog's playbook - can you even begin to fathom it?
So, there we were, mustering up the courage to venture beyond our cozy haven, the place that had spoiled our taste buds with culinary wonders. We boldly entered this establishment at 7:00 PM sharp, all agog to celebrate a birthday, and what did we encounter?
Finally, they seated us, and they handed us a QR code for the menu - no big deal, right? Wrong! Their system appeared to be on a never-ending siesta. We had to request a paper menu, and our waiter gave us a glimmer of hope that he'd find one. After an excruciating 10 minutes of waiting and battling with cell signal, Wi-Fi, and switching browsers, the digital menu finally decided to grace us with its presence. But the paper menu? It was as elusive as a unicorn. We navigated through the online menu, though it felt like solving a Rubik's Cube blindfolded.
Then came the drinks, and after an agonizing 20-minute wait, they arrived - well, almost. You see, mine was like a drink mix-up straight out of a sitcom! And that's when our waiter casually informed us that we'd have to wait another excruciating 10 minutes before he could even think about taking our order, and as a consolation prize, they'd throw in some complimentary guacamole. Sure, we understood that they might be swamped, but this was reaching absurd levels.
Now, I turned into Sherlock Holmes, scrutinizing the surroundings. Two other tables, seated after us, were already chowing down on appetizers from their paper menus. Meanwhile, several tables in our vicinity were sending their dishes back, either because they had received the wrong order or their steaks were playing a vanishing act in the kitchen.
Fast forward 45 minutes - yes, you heard that right - they finally deigned to take our order. But wait, there's more! Despite the menu's alluring promise of Chilean Sea Bass Veracruzan, it turned out to be grouper. Not a deal-breaker, we thought, so we ordered the grouper and surf and turf with shrimp, along with a couple of appetizers. The apps materialized in a relatively quick 20 minutes, and the main courses followed, as if time had slowed down, 25 minutes later.
Here's where it gets interesting. The steak arrived with all the pomp and grandeur of a Broadway show - they even had a flamboyant tableside spectacle, like they were auditioning for a Michelin-star cooking show. I suppose the flaming sauce was meant to add an extra layer of flavor, but it felt more like a magician's failed trick.
I sliced into my steak, ordered medium, and it was well done! The shrimp were a tad overcooked, and the flavors were barely a whisper. So they brought me a replacement steak sans the theatrics, and you won't believe it - it was medium rare! Ugh! Fine, it arrived on a sizzling cast iron plate, so I decided to play chef and let it cook some more.
But, here's the kicker - amidst all this chaos, they did manage to sprinkle in some quirky entertainment. A mariachi band paraded through the entire restaurant, and then they did a repeat performance with Dia de los Muertos figures, handing out sparklers to everyone along the path. That was a fleeting moment of amusement in an otherwise perplexing evening.
By the time we had finished our meal, it was a shocking 9:40 - nearly three hours had mysteriously vanished! And when we finally got the check and settled the bill, it had somehow ticked its way to a jaw-dropping 10:00! By then, we were just desperate to escape the madness, and you know what? They didn't even bother with the birthday dessert! Unbelievable! read more