There is really something to be said about the small privately owned Chinese restaurants from the shadier side of the bridge. Some of them causing serious gastrointestinal issues and some seriously amazing. It's hit or miss...and as weird as it sounds, I had built a lifetime around finding out which ones were which. Over on this side - it's limited. Very limited. And Panda Express, had me quite curious...with it's chain-like store front. It stays packed. And of course they had movie and TV. show endorsements. So I thought hmmm...we should try this, with their most famous purple Chinese takeout boxes with their logo on the side. I longed for one of those boxes.
Until we went. It was...like...how do I describe it to someone who's never been there? Do you know Moe's the Mexican restaurant? Well, it's like Moe's, with a different twist, much less patience and of course there isn't the "WELCOME TO MOES!" when you walk through the door. It's rush, rush, rush. You can try samples of things, until you realize there is a line of people backing up behind you and around the restaurant. Prices aren't really that clear. Their board is a bit confusing. Two main dishes and a side dish for x amount of dollars - well where I'm from that would feed two people, but here that's a spoonful of a two main dishes and a heaping portion of the side dish. It was backwards. I was confused. Outta my element. And underneath the signage it said the one meal we were ordering was enough to feed two? Umm...okay, maybe guinea pigs, but not full-sized humans. Literally it was a ladle full of one main dish and a ladle full of another...but then we both went with the "crab Rangoon," which the lady readily admitted was a dollar extra but contained no crab?? Whaaa??? It wasn't even an ounce of food. I'm all about portion sizes here...but I'm from a town where we order Chinese it lasts for dinner, lunch and dinner the next night.
So, we get home. We dig into our separate meals that "could have fed two" (mice on a full stomach) and well...everything was like out of that Steven King movie...umm..what was the name of it...The Langoliers. Where they get to the future and the future hasn't happened yet so all the food isn't stale but it's tasteless. I've never tasted Chinese food like this before. And I've eaten at Chinese restaurants that have left me heaving over the porcelain god for days on end, wondering why....and leery of Chinese food for years. Although that did only happen once...but I digress.
Panda Express with all my Chinese Food experience, is a decent concept...but for the love of all that is crab meat - ADD SOME SPICE TO THE LIFE! And lastly clearly state your menu prices, wow. Even when you go into Moe's and you are wondering around in circles trying to figure out what a "Closer Talker" is, they don't keep pushing you through the line demanding what you want - pointing to an obscure menu.
Oh how I wished the drive-thru hadn't been blocked by an expensive car and a delivery van. I think even with the bland food, our experience would have gone a little better. But I can honestly say...we will just have to wait til next year for some good ol' Kentucky Chinese food...ok, yes, I'm aware of the oxymoron there. :p lol. read more