Heaven.
I'll start by telling you what's on my desk at work right now:
Grain Berry snack crackers, Pretzel Pete Cheddar and Ale Gourmet Pretzel Nuggets and Bob's Red Mill Apple-Blueberry Granola. All three products are excellent, high-end and... bought cheaply at OSJL.
Aside from random buckets catching roof leaks and bumbling octogenarian consumers who think nothing of standing like a statue in the middle of the aisle that you are trying to navigate quickly because you're on your way to work, the Bloomfield location is clean and clutter free. As OSJL fans know, this is a rarity in the OSJL world. (The Windsor location in particular is a dystopian nightmare where one can fully expect to leave the store having either been robbed, having contracted the Hantavirus, or having witnessed some fool slip on purpose in order to sue the mighty OSJL empire.)
The Bloomfield location is staffed by (mostly) go-getting folks who really care about the store. My man Ron the cashier is a joy. The weird anorexic south Asian(?) stockboy with the mullet is the hardest working man in Connecticut. OSJL appears to care about its workers as almost everyone there wears Carpal Tunnel wrist protectors.
If you are looking for clothes on the cheap, and you don't care a whit about how others perceive you, you can probably rock OSJL fashions year-round. Their selection of "lounge-wear" is unparalleled. All that's missing from the "Low income housewife" wardrobe is the baby spit-up stains. I have purchased dress socks and a bright orange t-shirt here, as well as some "winter" socks (3 pairs for 3 bucks!) that I use as slippers in the wintertime. Sure, I wear holes through them in a couple months, but 3 for 3 bucks? Come ON.
I've bought suet here for my bird feeder. I've bought a welcome mat. I always buy pistachios. I've bought handsome National Geographic coffee table books here. This store is insane.
My weekly trips are always food-centric. The Bob's Red Mill selection is mind-blowing. OSJL offers like 80 different products from Bob's. Meusli, Quinoa, Granola, spelt, tapioca, steel cut oatmeal, all sorts of beans and grains. And all for half the price that Whole Foods charges.
OSJL offers a billion Polar soda/seltzer flavors too - even the ridiculous flavors like butter rum and mint chocolate. (I prefer the pomegranate seltzer, ginger ale and of course the Orange dry. That stuff is king.)
Oh, and snack chips for days. If you are gross, you can buy every snack chip you can think of here. Featured are the horrible ones that no one has ever heard of like Hot dog flavored Herr's and the like.
Cereal? Check. High-end pasta and Brad's Organic sauces? Check. Weird German cookies, sure. Jelly Belly Belly Flops? Got it. Old school candies? A whole aisle. Real Vanilla extract for a dollar? You can't beat it.
I get our fake Ziploc bags here, my children's shampoo and, of course, all my canned bivalves from China. Delicious.
Just when you think the fun is over, OSJL has one last treat in store for you: The magic of getting plastic bags from different stores and markets from random stores from around the country. "John's Antiques and Corn Store from Amana, Iowa?" Double bag me, Ron, double bag me.
I am constantly trying to figure out the OSJL secret and I've discovered a few:
1. A lot of the food they sell is in discontinued packaging. Like when Frosted Krispies have a Halloween themed box and it's now November, they sell 'em off to OSJL. Or when Jif's promotion with some movie runs out, they turn up at OSJL.
2. Some of the food itself has been discontinued. Like when Pop-Tarts dreams up some horrid flavor combo that no one eats. Sell it off to OSJL.
3. Ok, that's all I've figured out, because they sell some really good food here for really cheap prices. Alls I know is I'll have fun figuring it all out.
I've never seen expired food here either. Though they do sell lemons stuck in an aluminum tray that are way past their prime sometimes. And unrefrigerated cheese which sort of bugs me out.
And if you want to see random, check out their weekly coupons. Insanity. (This week includes the pink salmon in a can from Alaska for $1.50 that sells for like $8 elsewhere.)
http://www.oceanstatejoblot.com/coupons/
OSJL, I love you. read more