Whenever I want to do a review, I always use the same procedure: I start from a 5/10, then I keep on adding removing points according to the dinner, I multiply the result to a price factor and then I get my result over the 5 stars, adjusted to the nearest available point (/me waiving my fist in the air because of missing half stars!). This place ended up obtaining an awesome 0.6. DAMN.
First of all, this is sponsored as a Mozzarella Bar, a classy italian bar/restaurant with mozzarella as speciality. It does sound as the kind of places where they just try to steal some of your moneys giving you shitty food, but we got to try anyway!
First strange thing, spanish waiters. I'm usually not that picky but in London I am. Damn, whenever I take a bus I'm sure I'll find at least two italians speaking loudly, is it possible you can't find any italian waiter? I don't know, it seems strange!
I liked the style of the restaurant, minimalist stylish, the kind of trendy place we started to appreciate from 2000s. It's all based on a combination of black, wood and red, nice! BUT the problem is that if I booked a table for 4 people you CAN'T give me two round tables, you give me two square tables! damn that's basic, are you crazy? Other than this problem there is a general issue with the number of tables, definitely too many for the single room. It's ok for a german brewery, but in a place like this, where you maybe want to have some private time with your girlfriend, you can't have another table with 4 men 5 cm next to you! it's just wrong!
In order to test the place, we took the mixed appetizer, a pizza to be shared, the pasta of the day and a tris of dessert. The complete set! just a small thing: in an italian restaurant I hate to pay for bread, I really do.
- mixed appetizer: probably this was the best dish we had. At least half of it. The part which involved less work. DAMN.
So it's composed by a mozzarella, burrata, two kind of pesto, caponata and a mix of cured meat. The mozzarella is good but nothing exceptional (I'd be glad to have it in any other place, in a mozzarella bar I expected to have something better), burrata is good because... well because burrata is always good (if you don't know what it is shame on you), cured meat is decent but the problem started with pesto, especially the green one, which was completely wrong, a mix of oil and cheese with no hints of basil at all. almost disgusting for how much was wrong.
- pizza: that's not a pizza, it's more similar to a rustica or to a focaccia, it's very crispy. Not bad, but that's not a pizza.
- pasta: bah... sponsored as "the awesome today speciality", it's just a normal pasta (definitely too much salted) with some unseasoned tuna and very small and sparse squid, with a bit of cherry tomato sauce. Something that I can do better coming home drunk at 4am.
- dessert: now, as I pointed out in another review, if you propose me a tris, they must have something in common, I don't care if they are in contrast or a common ingredient, they must be linked together by something. And........ this is not. The tris was composed by a small chocolate and almond cake, a ricotta cream and tiramisu. Ok first of all THAT'S NOT TIRAMISU. It's disgusting, plain simple. You should lose your italian citizenship for letting this kind of food going out from your kitchen, you bad bad person! bad! the cake was decent, the cream (as I suspected) was too fatty and too sweet...
The wine list is composed only by italian wines, divided by regions. It's just marketing, wines are coming from famous wineries more famous for their marketing rather than their actual wines. The dessert wine was a shame: we had a passito di noto, almost flavorless, and served in the wrong glass at the wrong temperature. I hate this kind of mistakes, especially from an italian restaurant. Damn, we are in London, not Baku, where maybe people never went to Italy!
And as a nice conclusion.... the bill went up to 50 pounds each! are you crazy?! I mean, it was a mediocre/silly dinner, worthing something around 120-150 pounds, and we ended up spending 1/4 more, for a total of 200...
PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T COME HERE. There is no reason in the whole world for coming here, really, no one. read more