NOTHING BUNDT CAKES: WHERE TOULA'S BUNDT CONFUSION LIVES ON IN FROSTED GLORY
Listen, while other bakeries are out here making regular cakes like some kind of geometric conformists, Nothing Bundt Cakes is keeping alive the sacred tradition that once made Maria Portokalos ask the immortal question: "What is that?" followed by the even more iconic "There's a hole in this cake."
Their chocolate chocolate chip bundt perfectly captures the essence of cultural confusion that made Aunt Voula declare "THAT CAKE IS A THING?" The way their cream cheese frosting cascades down the sides would make Ian's mother blush with WASP-y pride, while simultaneously causing Gus to ask if they could put some Windex on it.
You haven't lived until you've watched someone try to explain to their Greek grandmother why there's a hole in their red velvet bundt, channeling the same energy as Toula attempting to explain vegetarianism to her aunt. "Yes, Yiayia, it's SUPPOSED to be like that. No, it's not broken. No, we can't fill it with lamb."
Their lemon bundt (which would definitely NOT be improved by Windex, despite what Gus might suggest) stands as a symbol of cross-cultural dessert unity, much like how Ian had to learn to accept being kissed by all the relatives and baptized in a kiddie pool.
Five stars for creating a establishment that keeps alive the spirit of bundt-based cultural misunderstandings. I've started hosting weekly screenings of My Big Fat Greek Wedding where we eat bundt cake and yell "BUNDT!" every time someone looks confused about food.
P.S. Their "Why Bundt?" explanation card reads suspiciously like Toula's attempt to explain to her family why she's dating a non-Greek vegetarian teacher.
P.P.S. The way they display their cakes in the window would make the entire Portokalos family stand outside pointing and asking "Why? Why you need hole in cake?"
Note: This review was written while channeling the energy of every Greek relative who's ever questioned why anyone would intentionally put a hole in perfectly good cake.
Special Addendum: To the customer who asked if they could fill the hole with moussaka - you're missing the point but also somehow completely getting it.
Final Thought: Just like how Ian Miller learned to embrace being suffocated with love by his new Greek family, Nothing Bundt Cakes embraces the inherent confusion their product causes in certain demographic groups who believe all cakes should be solid all the way through.
Remember: As Maria would say, "Inside the bundt is the cake of life!" (She never actually said this, but she WOULD have if she'd come to terms with the hole.)
Movie Rating: 5 out of 5 Windex bottles for cultural cake confusion
Bundt Rating: 5 out of 5 confused Greek relatives
Warning: Side effects may include spontaneously quoting the movie while cutting into your bundt cake, explaining to relatives why there's a hole in it, and resisting the urge to spray it with Windex.
P.P.P.S. Their new "My Big Fat Bundt Collection" features flavors that would make Aunt Voula say "What? No spanakopita filling?"
Health Department Note: No Windex was used in the making of these cakes, much to Gus's disappointment. read more