Before I get into this, I would like to say that it is next to impossible to find a good cheesesteak in Baltimore. Yeah I know, Magerk's, blah, blah, blah. If I wanted to eat a cheesesteak around a bunch of tools, I'd order carryout and eat it at Pep Boys. Seriously people, I'd rather drive to Philly on a moped, in the rain, in a thong, than go to Magerks...I digress, back to the review. I had an out-of-town guest this weekend and before I took him to the Airport, we decided to get some lunch. I live on the east side of town and like any other territorial Baltimorean, its not very often that I travel away from my zip code to get food or drink but this time I thought "I should travel out of my zip code to get some food and drink." So we hopped in the car and drove to Mount Vernon. On the way, I phoned a friend who lives in that area and he recommended that we go to Iggies, however, when we arrived, we saw that it was closed (every Monday). We shrugged and started walking towards Charles Street. Seeing as how we were in a time crunch an' all, we went in to the first place we saw: Never On Sundays. I was like "Hell yeah! Cheesesteak!" We walked in and I was immediately enticed by the overwhelming aroma of what I thought would be delicious food. We walked up to the counter and placed our order: (1) cheesesteak with lettuce, tomato, and mayo; (1) 18" Meatlovers pizza with NO ham (please pay extra attention to this part of the order as it plays a vital role later in this review); and (2) sweetened iced teas. The dude gave us the total and because we were splitting the bill, I asked for change of a twenty. He gave me back the change (a ten and two fives, no ones) which I then gave to my friend who was paying with his card. The guy was all like "I already cashed it out, you can't pay with a card now." I was all like "Well, why did you cash it out, we're paying by card." He replied (shitty attitude included), " 'cuz I had to give you change." As I looked at him with absolute disgust, as I do to anybody who I think is a complete moron, I thought to myself "Is this guy really blaming me for his lack of knowledge of his point-of-sale system?" We fumbled around for our money, got it together in cash, and payed the guy. Mind you, the whole time this is going on, dude is looking at us like he wants to jump over the counter and strangle us because we can't get our money out fast enough. With very little confidence in what was to come next, we retreated to a table and talked about what a dick the guy was. After ten minutes or so, the first part of our order was called: the cheesesteak. I actually appreciated getting the sub first because I was hungry as shit and I couldn't wait any longer to eat. I brought the sandwich back to the table and after a brief inspection, I found that they had given me the wrong thing. Ya see, I didn't order a cheese-lettuce, I didn't order a cheese-tomato, and I certainly didn't order a cheese-mayo; I ordered a cheese STEAK! Thats right, folks. This thing was pathetic. Captain Harvey would kick these dudes asses if he knew what they were doing to a cheesesteak. I mean, I know you guys ain't from Philly or nothin' but come on! Put some protein on that roll for chris' sakes! Good cuckamunga! That thing looked like a finger sandwich...seriously. Again, I digress. I ate it anyway; I was starving. Highlight: the roll was fresh; other than that, shite. We waited for fifteen more minutes and finally, our pizza order was called. We brought it back to the table and sure enough, there was ham on it, a lot of it. There was ham on top, there was ham underneath of the cheese, there was even ham on the crust! I tried to pick it off but there was simply too much. Even if I could have picked it all off, I would have stopped eating it after a bite or two because the molten-hot grease pool that had formed on top of it probably would have dripped down my chin and burnt the skin off my face. I wasn't in the mood to spend six hours in the waiting room at Mercy so I pushed my plate to the side. Normally, I'd go right up to the counter and tell the person what I thought about everything but I feared that this gentlemen might go all "Jersey Shore" on me. My buddy went up and got a box for the rest of it and then we left. We wound up giving the leftover pizza to a homeless guy in Fells Point for a parking meter ticket. I felt bad for inflicting my bad experience on that poor gentlemen but he was hungry and I wanted it out of my sight.
To the staff: do yourselves a favor...close up shop and get out of Dodge. Especially if your going to treat people like snot and serve garbage food. Not classy.
To the people that have gone or are thinking about going: do yourselves a favor and wait until Tuesday for Iggie's to open. I've never even been to the place and know that it can't be any worse than NOS's. Seriously, folks. Contributing to this joint makes you, me, and everybody we know look like clueless buttheads. read more