There are two businesses on Passaic Street in Garfield, New Jersey that are difficult to ignore: one, an enormous Walmart shopping center, the other, Michele's Restaurant & Milan Banquets - the latter of the two exists exclusively as an entertainment venue; however, in this formerly known East Passaic neighborhood, residents could probably dine better at the former. I have been fascinated by Milan Banquets ever since becoming a part of the borough of Garfield, cruising through the southwest end of town on weekends and taking notice of the gala events at this venue - one of three different, somewhat posh (though Snooki-like) party spots; and, finally, a fund-raising event allowed me the opportunity to experience the round-the-corner locale. Unfortunately, I failed to see the warning signs from underneath the exterior, ivory-pink paint-job of the building. Although I wish this review would bolster one of my town's businesses, the following unfortunately serves as the first and only (surely) negative criticism of this seemingly inviting catering hall.
Furniture.
There is something to be said about an all-white, glorious dining and party hall - something that I can't quite think of at this moment. Maybe it's that there is always an ugly spot somewhere in the paint, or maybe it's that there is something covered-up. Yeah, that's it - a cover-up: Gordon Ramsay reveals that often on his shows, and i never really took notice before last night. One of the warning signs that jumped-out at me as I first entered the dining hall at Milan banquets was the dirty stretch slipcovers on all of the old, dark-colored (beneath) chairs in the room. I took a chance and reluctantly sat down - suspicions confirmed - on the uncomfortable rocks. Time for new chairs, Milan. If the seats are so bad that you've made the choice to purchase the covers, you're simply covering up a problem.
DJs are not the responsibility of the establishment, per se, so I won't fault the banquet hall for the countless problems with sound at last night's event; however, the problems don't end with the sound in the room - the sound of disappointed dinner guests outnumbered the microphone faux pas.
Bad food.
The best part about the food was the bread. I'd pay a lot of money for good bread, knowing in advance that all I'd be able to get past by lips joyfully were the bread. Real semolina in Garfield (and Lodi) isn't a new thing, it's an expectation. The rest of the food at Milan Banquets leaves something to be desired: good food. Let me sum this up in the kindest ways possible:
Sliced Pork - this should not be a toss-up with replacement insoles, the ones that the Sports Authority used to try to push on me when I'd buy a new pair of Nike sneakers.
Potato Wedges - the cook on the wedges at KFC is better.
Crudités - The salad bar at ShopRite serves better lettuce and olives. read more