New Yorkers, I just don't know about you anymore. New Yorkers, I'm just not feeling the love. Are you still the arbiters of taste I assumed you were?
Not only am I the first person to review Maison Martin Margiela, I actually had to CREATE THE FUCKING LISTING. Oh, did I mention I don't live in NYC right now? That's right bitches, I'M WRITING THIS FROM 3,000 MILES AWAY! YOU'VE BEEN SHOWN UP BY A POLE SMOKER WHO LIVES IN HIPPIETOWN. WEAK.
Now, some intrepid NYC yelpers are doing yeoman's work, but they can't do everything. Are the rest of you so coked out that you can't type? Or are you just too fucking cool for school to yelp? Do you care so little for your fellow man and woman that you're willing to let them suffer through season upon season of UGGs and Wal-Mart Ready-To-Wear? If so, a little charity wouldn't hurt.
Let's go over the lineaments of the Margiela look, shall we?
1. It cost me a lot of money to look like I was just dining chez le trash bin at Carl's Junior. Got any spare change?
2. You thought the shoulder pads on Alexis Carrington were big? You ain't seen nothin' yet.
3. I like to make outfits out of found objects like matchbooks, Magnum Extra Large rubber wrappers, 2x4s, plastic bags from the Kwik-E-Mart, and used underwear.
4. Fuck you and your Chanel boucle suit, I know this is too big for me. It's fucking supposed to be a size 78 you twat. DOWN WITH THE FASCISM OF FIT!
5. Margiela tabi boots: terminally chic and podiatrically incorrect.
Before y'all start hating, you should know I love Margiela. What can I say? It feels good to me. This place is my temple. In fact, I unroll my prayer rug every evening and face east. And yeah smart ass, I found Mugatu's Derelicte line beautiful.
Margiela is bold, experimental, anarchistic, and shuns the spotlight (unlike media whores such as Kaiser Karl with his fluttering fan and stapled stomach). He is the father of "deconstruction" in fashion (not his words; he would never say something so fucking stupid). He is a designer's designer: other, lesser folk take his example and water it down for the masses (one example out of many: you know those True Religion "Super T" jeans favored by club queens and porn stars, the ones with the oversized stitching, buttons, and rivets? Well bitches, Margiela did it first - and better - in his "Doll" collection of S/S 99). Or maybe I should show you the chaise lounge blazer from last F/W? Or the leather jacket made out of leather for a butcher's apron (complete with meat hook) which conforms to my skeletal frame and folds completely flat at the end of the day? Or....you get the picture.
It's not all gimmicky fun-and-games of course. Margiela makes perfect, streamlined suits (hand-picked collars and lapels, doctor's cuffs). His 'basics' (trompe l'oeil t-shirts, jeans, sweaters) are the only items out there worthy of the name: they can be worn everyday and last forever. Ask a truly fashionable friend whether they have any Margiela. Nine out of ten will say yes. And the tenth person is a lying bastard and shouldn't be your friend.
The House of Margiela produces a number of different lines. These lines are classified according to rigorous algebraic formulae:
Completely blank label (line 1) for women's RTW.
Circled "10" for men's RTW
Circled "11" for wallets, purses, bags, jewelry, and other accessories
Circled "4" for women's basics
Circled "14" for men's basics
Circled "22" for shoes
Circled "13" for books and other objects
Circled "0" for hand-reconstructed garments for women
Circled "0" and "10" for hand-reconstructed garments for men
Circled "0"and "11" for hand-reconstructed accessories
"6" for women's diffusion
I think the best items are issued under the blank label, 10, the leather goods, and especially the "0" articles - those are masterpieces.
Margiela, however, doesn't appeal to everyone, nor does everyone want to wear his clothes. Some just don't "get it." And that's cool. I like that; I like that the risk of him turning into the next Calvin Klein is very low. Heaven help us if soccer moms started wearing Margiela when they dined at The Olive Garden or drove their Humvees to Costco. Come to think of it, Margiela isn't for you, bud. Don't visit this boutique. It doesn't exist. Nothing to see here. read more