Listen, I understand the type of person that seeks gainful employment at a brewery is (generally) a look-down-their-nose type of condescendingly aloof case study on immaturity and lack of tact, and despite that previous knowledge, the self-titled 'bartender' that pulled our beers behind a disgustingly overgrown Health Code violation of a beard spoke to my group with such an intense level of hostility that I felt not only compelled to leave a zero dollar tip- a lowly act that I can say with absolute confidence that as an adult that I have never before done and hope to never do again- but to also come to Yelp in the light of day and compose a review.
I find that even leaving a review at all to be a deplorable act because I find Yelp to be a predatory, parasitic website that exploits small businesses for profit, however I doubt there is an easier way to reach the ownership of a business to let them know that they have a serious issue in their customer service department, which, let's face it, since I could suck down a pint of six dollar blackberry brandy to achieve the same ultimate result as what Lord Hobo Brewery's physical product is (that is to say that there are cheaper and therefore in a Capitalist society ultimately better options), all that Lord Hobo provides that makes it stand out from forty ounce Icehouse malt beverages from the Citgo station on Central Avenue in Yonkers, New York that cost a buck fifty IS their customer service, which is poor.
Here's what happened:
We showed up with a group of thirty-two for a thirtieth birthday party. We ordered out beers and ordered in some pizza (the sole reason for a second star is that the pizza from a different establishment that we were allowed to order in was dynamite), and sat around playing some games and participating in the general merriment and exuberance due a celebration. Note- the game we were playing was not a drinking game, however people playing the game were indeed drinking as, well, we were at a Brewery. Unexpectedly and without warning of any kind, the gentleman bartender with the aforementioned beard approached the table and started threatening (and I use the word threatening because several ladies in our group afterward mentioned specifically that they felt threatened for their personal safety by your employee) to throw us out if we did not immediately stop playing and enjoying ourselves. He assumed we were playing a drinking game because we were drinking, which it was not. He said we were disturbing the other guests, of which, excepting our group of thirty-two at that point in time, there were four. Outnumbering the other guests at a ratio of eight to one, I can safely say that the guests he was referring to were only the complement of our group- and I know they were indeed undisturbed. He then threatened, again, threatened to physically remove us using his authority as a 'bartender.' Obviously our enthusiasm was muted, our enjoyment of what you provide ended in a few simple sentences, and our desire to spend any money or ever again patronize Lord Hobo Brewery violently quelled.
So all that set up is to say this- I understand that generally speaking, Microbreweries survive on profit margins that would make any other business raise the white flag and go back to painting houses, and that if your establishment has the aesthetic and atmosphere of an over lit VFW and the best thing that you brew is coffee, what keeps people coming back and supporting you is the customer service you provide, the people you employ and empower to represent your brand. And again, stereotypically speaking, people that want to work for a brewery are the sort of humans that after failing at all other aspects of their existence, have decided that the knowledge they've earned only by developing a beer gut at age twenty seven that would embarrass an octogenarian has somehow qualified them to sneer as they explain what hops are and draw mediocre IPA from the walll with reverence reserved normally for the Blood of Christ itself using passe tattooed arms they look upon as the Lance of Longinus, so obviously I understand that as a paying customer I will still be treated like the lowest caste imaginable in the beer snot hierarchy because I have showered this week and have a smile on my face, and yet I still remain disappointed.
If the bearded gentleman is an owner, I understand why he is still employed there. If he is not, as an owner, I would fire him over this incident for two reasons: First, probably not anytime soon, but at some point, he will gain enough perspective to treat people with a modicum of dignity and, as a Hospitality Industry professional, come to understand that guests have chosen to spend their hard-earned free time and money with you butwill not continue to do so if he keeps up his hateful vitriol. Second, he cost you over a thousand dollars in revenue last night and any future business from any member of our group.
Cold brew was damn good though. read more