To the average Millennial and/or Zoomer, retirement can seem like a distant, unattainable concept to most. Yet on this mostly cloudy New England day, I found myself attending a celebratory retirement dinner for a dear coworker whom I hold tremendous professional respect for. Hence, he chose Tavern in the Square as his outgoing request.
Knowing this, I wanted to believe there must be some special sentiment regarding either their cuisine selection, drinks, service, or combination of the three. What I was met with instead was....a sublime mediocrity comparable only to the likes of a poorly conceived Fody's.
Keep in mind, this is merely based on a first impression. And seeing as how you only get one shot at that, this is as fair of a review as I can give them.
I want to start out by saying that the service was beyond reproach. I mean, aside from forgetting to bring me an extra side of tartar sauce, I can't really complain about the servers' performance at all. They were all very attentive and prompt; which is saying a lot, considering we had two tables with a combined total of about 17 persons in attendance that evening. 9 out of 10 for their outstanding performance this evening.
What I found absolutely shocking, however....was the food. It wasn't all bad. But it was all over the place in terms of execution.
So, let's talk about the Caesar salad for a minute. What do you imagine the perfect salad to consist of? Semi-copious amounts of dressing with positive quality control on which lettuce pieces are used and tender-ish croutons that still have just the right amount of bite, right?
Yeah, well....the salad possessed a severe lack of Caesar dressing, accompanied with croutons that were hard as boulders. I won't even get into the stalky lettuce pieces they used since I can usually eat past those anyway. 4 out of 10 - how do you f*¢k up salad?!
Before I discuss the main course, I want to give a quasi-honorable mention to the menu. Whilst some may view the selection as bold and interesting, I found it rather middle-of-the-road, limited, and boring. Perhaps this just isn't my scene and, remember...this is just my opinion on things. But it's worth mentioning because virtually the only thing I felt willing to try that was NOT a burger was..
The fish n' chips: normally a classic New England favorite of mine (since I grew up here n' all). Ultimately, the fish was the best part of this whole experience (thank whatever deity you worship) because at least it was tender and flavorful. As for the chip crusted breading, it could have been thinner. I don't mind the different approach to the composition of the breading itself. In fact, I was intrigued by it. I just wish the outer layer didn't resemble the outside of a tree stump.
The fries it came with straight-up pissed me off. They were almost totally inedible due to being cooked to oblivion. This created an outer shell that was rock hard with the innards completely hollowed out. Seriously, if your kitchen is jacking up the fries, it may be time to get a new deep fryer. That or....double check temps of your oil. Either way, this dish was like a 5 out of 10 for me. Couldn't even finish the fries.
Oh, side note: another coworker of mine got a Long Island Iced Tea which looked a lot more like a Mimosa gone wrong. And no, I didn't sample any. My coworker, on the other hand, confirmed to me that his drink was, indeed...ass.
At least the house Cabernet was fine. The bar area looked vastly roomy and inviting as well. So, there is that.
Like I said, the best part of the evening was basically the service. Had it not been so stellar, I'd probably be giving this place 2 stars, at best. Ah well. Proof positive that service can *somewhat* make up for otherwise subpar cuisine. Needless to say, I can't see myself coming back here ever again (for dinner, anyway). Not because it's bad or anything. But because it just doesn't seem to be my scene, I think.
On that note, Tavern in the Square receives 3 cod fish coated in tree bark for breading out of 5. read more