I'm not going to bore you with bland little sentences that summarise how "amazing" and "unique" my experience was at this establish (I'm looking at you, Sylwia W.), but I can tell you a little story about how I came to know this little "restaurant," because let me tell you - this place should STAY "backstage".
To give some context, I am a 48 year old Caucasian woman who likes playing board games with her family and loves Jesus. PRAISE THE LORD!
I walked in this place one day, intrigued by the satisfied reviews of previous customers (again talking about you Sylwia W.). As I excitedly walked through the doors, I was shocked to see, at the corner of my eye, a man dressed as a pig humping an old blind woman's dog. Little did I know, this place was a brothel - amazingly the innuendo of the restaurants name went completely over my head!
I decided to look past this and wait for the waiter to take my order. A flamboyantly dressed drag queen leaned on the opposite end of the table:
"what can I get for you, you hot tub of lard?" he said in a deep, husky voice.
I looked at the menu, "the crab ragout sounds lovely."
The drag queen smirked, "wonderful choice madam, it'll be right over. Would you like male or female?"
Assuming he was talking about the crab, I said "female, I guess."
"Brilliant! Wheel bring her out Katrina!"
A string of enormous thuds slowing grew louder from across the room, then it came into view:
A large wrinkled woman waddled up to me, surprisingly with no plate in her hands. Huffing and puffing, and twirling her long, matted beige hair between her fingers, she stated, "how we doing this? Fanny to fanny, or you want me to use a strap-on?"
I was appalled, "how can you call this a restaurant? Where is my meal?!"
"It's right here love" the woman said, pointing to her crotch.
"How can you call this crab ragout?" I retorted.
"I have crabs and my pussy looks like ragout" The wrinkled wench cackled; "you're in for a delightful meal!"
I left in disgust, pulled away from the table and through the door; not before I tripping over a large man in a gimp suit that was laying on the floor near the exit.
In summary, I'm never coming to this place again. It not only goes against my good Christian values, but also gave me ringworm on my hands after touching the chairs.
P.s. Turns out that large whore was Linda. read more