"Its Gucci Mane. And I'm so player. And when I grab her hair baby scream oh yeah (yeahhhh!)"
Let me tell you about my time as a B list celebrity in Orlando.
Here I was in Orlando for my sister's roommate's 21st birthday party. Now, I always like going to Orlando because I like hanging out with my sister and her friends and the bars there are a lot of fun, as well as the fact that right next to the bars is Lazy Moon pizza, so I can end my night with a giant fucking piece of pizza if I so choose, but I digress..
We started the night off at Applebee's. I had the unfortunate luck to sit at a table with a cross between a Debbie Downer and a Negative Nancy (you call that a Miserable Martha). To make the (very depressing) time fly I decided to take advantage of the 2-4-1 drinks at the Applebee's and get a little bit saucy. At this point we left to go to the Knight Library.
As I walk to the door what do I notice, but they are playing the song Ice Cream Paint Job, the Lil Wayne version, from the No Ceilings mixtape. Now, this is very rare because it is not often that you hear mixtape songs at a bar and this also happens to be my favorite song from that mixtape, a mixtape full of great songs. I knew that this was a sign that it would be a good night...
As I enter the bar, the song "Move it Like Bernie" comes on. Of course I immediately start doing the Bernie, which I had never even heard of until earlier that evening. Lo and behold, next thing I know, I have a circle of bitches surrounding me and we are all doing the Bernie.
After this, I decide it is time to check this place out. I see some kind of shot girl giving out mixed drinks made with a new flavor of Bacardi. She's denying all the guys so I decide to not really bother and make my way towards the dancefloor. As I walk through the crowd I am receiving compliments left and right, from guys and girls, on the most random shit, my t-shirt, my haircut, my fresh J's... I circle around the bar, walk past the Bacardi girl, and she grabs me and offers me a drink. Of course I oblige. About 15 min later on another lap, the second Bacardi girl offers me a drink. Now mind you no other guys are getting these so of course I am feeling very special.
A while later I decide to buy myself a drink. Now, I have a great love in life, and that is drinking coffee. I have always wanted to try Patron XO but you don't really see it in many bars, however they had it at the Knight Library. And the bartender gave me a triple shot for some reason (not complaining). At this point my swag is just off the charts and I somehow ended up in the VIP section (just an elevated corner) with some random dudes and they're giving me drinks. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a spanish girl on the dancefloor looking at me, so I do what anyone with so much swag on a night like this would do. I looked her straight in the eyes, walked over and grabbed her by her belt loop and started dancing with her. After about 30 min I got a text saying the birthday girl had wandered into the parking lot and it was time to go.
I can't wait to go back to Knight Library. read more