We were in Kilkeel, among the halls of gospel, British Legion and orange for take out fish & chips and as the notion took me: onion rings.
Boy did we get great fish & chips here and a large portion. Haddock only, no cod. Apparently there's no demand here for cod.
Such was the queue of patient hungry folks in their Mercedes, BMW's, Audis (British made cars were hard to find, sorry no, I was the only one in a British made car - yet all these European made motors had the Legion's poppy appeal symbols on their front windscreens) we had to wait 20 minutes for our in-car meal.
All the food here is cooked in beef dripping and it's generously salted so if it's a healthy diet you want then don't go here.
I think there was seven delicious crisp hot lightly battered onion rings for £1.9. The total cost for one fish & chip meal with the onion rings - £8.30.
More than enough for two with leftovers for the seagulls. They don't live long enough for heart disease to grip. A year's supply of cholesterol in a brown paper bag.
The animal grease positively dripped off the hot food with the goo semi-solidifying in the bag, with that distinctive, straw yellowish, colour that surgeons see accumulated in human arteries cut when operating around the heart and squeeze out - classic animal fat.
It's been about two years since we've been at this harbour, Wu Flu lockdown kept us away and the fish & chip truck that we had expected to see wasn't there. It was Kevin's truck instead - founded in 1983 according to its signage - but we'd never seen his truck ever before.
We know this is really unhealthy food. Really bad for human piping, it overworks the always busy liver and it tasks the peptic processes, but darn it, done right it's tasty and it's not bastardised like other heavily processed food - fresh white fish, a light, crisp batter made with flour, water maybe baking soda and salt. Maris Piper potatoes and fresh onions. It was done right here and delicious. We know too it's very much once in a blue moon food.
The harbour was crammed full of European made fishing boats, equipped with Japanese and American radar systems, crewed by Filipino workers and maybe tied up because of Brexit (these fisherfolk wanted Brexit) and their politicians promised them much but shafted them or maybe it being a Sunday or a mix of all of the above.
If Norn Iron has a Bible Belt then this is at least a buckle, with the prong included. A sea of boats jostled in the light breeze against a steel grey sky amid a sea of made in China, red, white and blue bunting, union jacks, UVF flags and more than a whiff of hypocrisy in the salty sea air.
In god (and Ulster) they trust here, all others, cash.
As we departed, we sat for ages at the road junction out of the harbour to the main road, while European and Japanese car after car drove by - not one driver would let us out - maybe they were in a hurry to get to a gospel hall to continue to practice Christianity - I do hope they succeed some day soon. read more