For many barbecue enthusiasts, Texas Monthly's "Top 50 BBQ Joints" list (updated annually) is a veritable road map of places -- some iconic, others relative upstarts -- to sample pit-smoked meats from across the state. For *this* barbecue fanatic, however, the list is often the editorial equivalent of an episode of "Diners, Drive-ins, & Dives," a hastily compiled lineup betraying a dearth of insight and criticism. I sometimes consult the list out of curiosity, but I seldom heed the recommendations. I prefer instead to survey the social media landscape (user photos, Yelp reviews) and determine if a place warrants a road trip. Heavy's Barbecue in Hondo -- a frequent "Top 50" honoree with an overall 4.5-star rating -- struck me as a place with potential, a no-frills operation manned by a "heavy" dude (Darryn "Heavy" Bernal, to be exact) with many years of experience at the pits. What I experienced this past Saturday mostly lived up to the hype, with above-average meats and sides.
I'm not sure when or why rotisserie barbecuing fell out of fashion among the 'cue cognoscenti (my euphemism for barbecue snobs), but the technique *can* produce superlative meats. When done correctly, the rotisserie can produce juicy poultry with desiccated skins, moist briskets with rendered intramuscular fat, and crusty pork ribs with a bit less give than the lamentable "fall-off-the-bone" variety so beloved by legions of simpletons accustomed to overcooked Bill Miller fare.
The stainless steel rotisserie smokers at Heavy's produce ribs with a succulent crustiness and an intense mesquite flavor. Heavy's ribs strike the ideal balance between tenderness and firmness, with meat that pulls away from the bone with minimal effort. The two hulking ribs on my plate were moist, but a dollop of the vinegary house sauce added some zip and helped tame the almost overwhelming mesquite smokiness.
The moist brisket was indeed moist throughout, with pockets of rendered intramuscular fat and collagen. The rotisserie contributed a black, well-seasoned bark but failed to completely render the one-inch cap of subcutaneous fat. Every slice of brisket should have an equal balance of bark, fat (both subcutaneous and intramuscular), and meat, but the slices on my plate were cut unevenly. One particularly egregious slice consisted of equal parts meat and subcutaneous fat.
Heavy sources his sausages from Pollok's, a fifth-generation operation based in Falls City, Texas. Leslie Pollok uses the same pork/beef mixture and proprietary blend of spices that his great-great grandfather used in Poland over 170 years ago. Pollok's typically smokes their own sausages prior to distribution, but Heavy orders his raw, opting instead to smoke them over mesquite. A generous portion of Polski kielbasa picked up lots of snap from the pit and was bursting with flavor (garlic, black pepper, mesquite-imbued fat). No sausage can match the snappy, intensely garlicky horseshoe rings from Black's Barbecue in Lockhart, but the links at Heavy's come to those dizzying heights. Chalk up that success to a marriage made in barbecue heaven: Pollok's unwavering standards (nothing artificial) and Heavy's prowess at the pit.
Sides of coleslaw and stewed green beans -- albeit pedestrian in appearance -- won me over in unexpected ways. The traditional coleslaw (creamy but not wet, sweet but not cloying) was a welcome respite from the slimy, sugary, mass-produced industrial garbage so common at other barbecue joints. The verdant vibrancy of the green beans proved that they were fresh (or at least fresh frozen, the next best option), and the stew was an umami bomb of seasonings (a hint of cilantro) and bacon drippings.
At this point, you have likely noticed the dichotomy between my review (mostly superlative praise) and my three-star ("A-ok," or mediocre) rating. Were I to rate Heavy's on the merits of its food alone, then I would award four stars, but my experience was marred by an unfortunate interaction with Heavy himself. When my father and I entered the building, we asked the matronly woman at the counter if we could consume our "to-go" meals outside on a bench. She replied in the affirmative, rationalizing that doing so would not violate Governor Abbot's policy regarding social distancing. About halfway through our meal, however, Heavy stormed out of the back and reprimanded us for violating the law. I understand that the ever-evolving (and increasingly draconian) government mandates have put a financial (and psychological) strain on small business owners, but I would have appreciated more tact from Heavy. He could have at least acknowledged his staff's error in judgement and thanked us for our patronage. Alienating a new customer is never the right approach.
I have more to say, but Yelp is telling me that my review is too long. Consider going here if you are nearby, but be wary of Heavy; he likes to throw his weight around (bad pun intended). read more