If Pee Wee Herman and Joseph Stalin ever joined ranks to run a night club, it would undoubtebly be The Gothic Theater.
Recently, a tour of triplets made their way to Denver. Unfortunately for their fans, they ended up at the last venue where 1990's technicolor dreams and public drinking fountains go to die.
With no descript website on what to expect from this "iconic" location, fans were told that check in was at 2:00 pm. While it was explained that parking may be hit or miss, most chose to uber or lyft (some at 11:00 am) and hope for the best. Due to the tardiness of staff checking in the pre-teen to twenty something girls, hope was all they had. As they stood in the sun for countless hours they were told to "make ze zingle line" as the staff was worried about the traffic so close to those huddling under the shade of the scant trees while dying of thirst.
Once inside, albeit late, young girls were shoved into further lines, at least indoors and out of the heat, to be told, "Move along ladies, keep going" while meeting their much-anticipated celebrities. Parents who dared to go up to the bar to get their children water were greeted by a sweet blonde, dressed like a grade school crossing guard, were told that the bar would not open until 6:30 pm. At this time it was 5:00 pm and most of the children had been standing outside since 1:30 pm with no hydration. (Did I mention that they would not let you bring water bottles inside unless you emptied them out but could then fill them at the water fountains circa 1920?). Even though the bartenders are there, they are most certainly not there to serve you. Which you will understand once they have noticed you are the only parent at the bar at 6:15 pm, desperate to get water for your daughter. As they ignore you and serve all others first, who came after you, you will finally receive your four overpriced bottles of H2O. Served up by two middle aged, bitter bartenders, who I can only assume wear vintage Beatles T shirts and make their kids eat off of paper plates.
Once inside, the girls were allowed to smash each other up against the gate in front of the stage. Not to worry, the girls looked out for each other, and as young teens fainted from dehydration and hours of standing, their friends carried them out. (The bar, the only sanitary place to purchase water, still was not open.)
Contemporary music continued to be blasted as the crowd, who by 7:30 pm had proven they were loyal fans and had paid over $250.00 each for this "incredible" experience, were told that the show would be starting late as all the General Admission needed to be let in before the show began. Of course, this was only fair.
8:00 pm and the show is off! It was great! Even though the boys had to race through and even had to sabotage a Jenga tower to bring the show to a close so as to end on time at 9:00 pm.
$900.00. 2:00 pm to 9:00 pm. No food. No water. Starving and exhausted by the time we were home at 10:00 pm. All for a 1 hour show. I would rather stay home and gorge on Taco Bell with a chaser of ipecac syrup before I would ever attend anything at the Gothic Theater again. read more