If you don't come here, then you may as well get NO CHA
Cause when you taste this Boba, you'll start yelling WHOA CHA
100 times better than a PSL Peppermint MOCHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
If there's a line, then the service can be SLOW CHA
But if you go to other places, all the drinks might BLOW CHA
So come here and get the best taste for your DOUGH CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
This is where Jason Scott Lee came before he filmed the CROW CHA
This is where Lawnmower Man came before he learned to MOW CHA
This is where Barbie came before she became a HO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
The perfect pick-you-upper when you're feeling kinda LOW CHA
The favourite of Whatsisname Jonas (I mean JOE CHA)
And it's our special place it's like Somewhere Only We KNOW CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
Barbie took me to the bathroom and she made me GROW CHA
She slipped off fishnets and stilettos, made the juices FLOW CHA
And afterwards I made a joke: Bae, how much do I OWE CHA
And then we came back out, so to speak, and drank GOCHA!
If the cops had busted I'd have been like DON'T TASE ME BRO CHA
They didn't, so we drank Boba in the AFTERGLOW CHA
When they ran out of Boba we just ordered with ALOE CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
I'm on my 15th drink, but no white flag, I'm not DIDO CHA
And Barbie's in the bathroom, screaming WHIP IT LIKE DEVO CHA
She's my queen and yes I will do the FANDANGO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
She's my favourite company and I'm her CEO CHA
She's my favourite courtesan and I'm her BORDELLO CHA
She's my favourite asylum and I'm from KOSOVO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
I think she wants my French Bread in her GRANDE CHATEAUX CHA
I think she wants me to kiss her on her MISTLE-TOE CHA
I think she wants my sub to shoot her with a TORPEDO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
Sometimes I'm kinda worn out so she grinds on my ELBOW CHA
Because it's bigger, harder, stronger, than her best DILDO CHA
And after all it's much more fun than doing it SOLO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
If you like her heels then you should see her walk on TIPTOE CHA
A work of art more breathtaking than Rodin and Van GOGH CHA
And if you like her and you're rich then I'll let you BORROW CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
Better than any Boba shop in Detroit or BUFFALO CHA
Better than the ones in Wisconsin and CHICAGO CHA
And even when it's cold I come in here COMMANDO CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
The best Bubble Tea I've had this side of MOSCOW CHA
And so I perched it next to Barbie's heels for a PHOTO CHA
And if you look closely you can see my d*** SHADOW CHA
The best Bubble Tea on the Plains is at GOCHA!
GoCha is as perfect as it ever was - and I've now been here many, many times - with some of the tastiest milk tea around. Their tapioca is a bit tasteless and rubbery sometimes, so it's not my favourite, but their black milk tea is one of the best I've had anywhere.
What's more, their fruity concoctions are some of the most interesting and innovative and unusual products that I've had at Boba shops. They're quite surprising and unpredictable. Some of them are not sweet at all - so if you like hypersweet bubble tea then don't expect to love these. But they're authentic and expertly made, and full of flavour and imagination.
I'm absolutely in love with the owner (literally, I just sent an email proposing to her) who is a total sweetheart and remembered me even though it's been months (even my exs can't manage this). Well, honestly, it was not me she remembered - really she remembered Barbie having come in with me - but can you blame her?
The store is super super cute and some of the customers are ridiculously cute as well -especially In The Heat Of Summer, when Kansas City people take all their clothes off because they rarely get the chance to in the other three seasons.
There are not many great Boba shops anywhere in the midwest or on the plains - but this one is the very best I've found. It's in fact one of the best in the country and every product you try here will probably be spectacular.
As for service - as I said, six months after I first came in, the woman still remembered me on my most recent trip to Kansas City, and the drinks were just as sensational the second time around and Barbie and I both can't wait to come back here.
Kansas City is spoiled because they have this in the north burbs, and Fat Bee in the South - and both are excellent. But there is no doubt as to which one is superior and it is this wonderful and friendly place named GoCha.
By the way I'm not posting any more reviews until Tomorrow-cha. Sorry.
And if you just came here to perv over my girlfriend's photos... you've been caught! Gocha! read more