This is such a sad, sad bar to be on any given day of the week. How in the hell did I ever end up in this tragedy on a weekend? Well, you know I'm always good for a story and boy, I sure do have one. Have a seat and allow me to tell you the tale of 'Weekend at Grit's'....
We had a recruit from my company in town and of course, we were trying to show her a good time. A friend of mine called me and asked to meet them at the Balcony Bar because it was this particular recruit's last day in town and she was staying with a friend in the vicinity. It was a little late but I said ok and met up with them outside on the balcony. We chatted with the recruit at the bar until about 9 PM and then she headed back, since she had a flight back home in the early AM. I was NOT in the mood to drink or party that particular night but my ex, unfortunately, was. I kept trying to head back home but she continued saying no. Eventually, most of our friends had peeled off for other ventures and at around 11 PM, another group of our friends showed up. They had already been on some sort of a pub crawl and appeared wasted. Everyone was drunk except me, which is always awesome when you're the sober one. I, again, tried to go home but my ex said no and replied "we're going over to Grit's". "Where the hell is that place?? It's like midnight and you want to go out drinking EVEN MORE??", I seemed to say.
When we got to the bar around 12:30 AM, my ex ordered a beer and I handed the bartender my card to keep the tab opened. The way these fishes were going, they weren't going to stop drinking anytime soon. The place just looked like a hole to me. I can say that because I was sober the whole time. There was no one else in there at the time except us. The music was pretty bad. They were playing 80's hits. Now personally, I can tolerate 80s music so long as it's GOOD 80's music, NOT Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart"!! I mean, who the hell can dance to something like that, anyway?? It's just about the cheesiest line ever, too. Could that ever be used in a REAL line to someone?? "Hey, babe, ya' know, I was falling in love and like, now I'm just falling apart, you know? It's like there's nothing I can do and I got this total eclipse of the heart...." OMG lamest ever!! Over the course of the evening, the quality of the music slowly ramped up but it still hovered just a degree above horri-bad. They didn't even play any synthesizer beats from Howard Jones!!
Around 1 PM, that's when the creatures of the night spawned inside the bar. Suddenly, I turned around and it was like a scene from "Thriller", when Michael Jackson is grappled by a swarm of zombies. These people looked about the same, too. First off, the bar had these trash cans on wheels all around the place and people kept pushing them around and the contents were spilling out all over the dance floor. The whole area was filled with cigarette smoke, too. Eventually, I lost my ex in the fog and ended up with this other monster of a girl, who happened to grab me and throw her arms around my neck. Little did I know, however, that she was holding a bottle of beer in one hand and as she grabbed me, she tipped the bottle and poured the beer all the way down my back! This all happened just as "Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun" had begun playing. Coincidence or were the gods just messing with me again?
I got away from the girl by turning her around and walking her into the back of another guy, who was so drunk that he turned around and both of them fell into a drunken embrace. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. "Where the hell is my date??" There were two other girls standing with a couple of guys with beads and one girl opened up her top to expose her breasts. It looked like the other guy was twisting on the other girl's pair like he was taking the lid off a peanut butter jar. I could have been wrong, though. I pushed my way through another bouncing group of girls, two of them throwing up in the corner behind the table all over the floor. One of the girls was doing this wailing scream as she threw up. I thought that was really weird because I've never heard that before. She sounded like a banshee. I eventually saw my ex, drunk and dancing with a garbage can on wheels near the girls restroom. I pushed through an onslaught of drunks to get to her. Someone had just come out of the girl's restroom when I arrived and I saw a girl on the floor in there. I grabbed my ex and dragged her out as a toga party was forming on the dance floor. The guys were standing on furniture and one guy I saw broke a chair and rolled out onto the floor into the crowd and just laid there.
When we left, two huge drunks without shirts on were being arrested just outside the joint. I got home and showered only to realize I forgot my credit card. There is a $10 minimum so I had to pay the remaining $6 to get the card back. This is a scary place!! read more