Underwhelmed.
That's really the only word that comes to mind when I think of the Dark Horse.
Being that it was so highly touted by fellow Yelpers and Boulderites, I suppose I may have had higher expectations, but even taking that into consideration, I was underwhelmed.
I like a dive bar. I like (some) kitsch. I like dark hidey-holes. But this place is ridiculous. It's as if 40 TGI Friday's worth of wall junk were tossed into every available corner, nook, cranny, shelf, socket, wall, floor, ceiling, and cubby. And it did not appear that many of these things had been dusted in the past month. (or longer.)
We arrived at noon on a Saturday. Walking in, you see a "Seat Yourself" sign. Okay. We wander to a booth, where there is a lime green laminated sign: "Self Service. Order your drinks at the bar and food and the kitchen!" Ohhhhhhhkayy. Let me say that at this point, I'm still okay with this. It's a dive, it's student-oriented, and it's gotten glowing reviews. So we peruse the menu and decide on 2 burgers.
The Sourdough Burger: (Touted on the menu as:) Grilled Onions, Pickles, Melted Cheddar, Spicy Mayo on Grilled Sourdough.
The "Grilled Onions" consisted (literally) of 3 "strips" perhaps 2-3 inches long of a single strand of partially translucent onion. The pickles were actually larger than both the onions AND the burger patty.
The patty is reported at 1/3 lb. This was the size of a McDonald's hamburger. It did not even cover HALF of the "Sourdough Toast" (We actually cut the toast in half and left a full half of empty sandwich behind. The "Spicy Mayo"? It was Yellow Mustard with Chopped Pickles mixed in. Delicious. Not.
The French Fries: I have yet to ever see an establishment that can properly cook, season, and serve "Curly Fries" quickly enough to get them to the customer before that 30-second-window of Hot goes out the door. This was no different. The fries were indeed curly, but also lukewarm, somewhat soggy, and unflavorful.
The Second Burger:
The Dark Horse actually stepped it up a bit with this one. This is one of their more quirky house burgers, served on a regular hamburger bun:
Fried Egg and Ham Burger: (Touted on the menu as:) Smoked Ham, an Egg Fried to Order & American Cheese.
It arrived hot and looked larger than the other patty, probably because it fit the bun. The "Fried Egg" was a bit overdone, having hardly any "ooze" of yolk, being mostly hard-cooked. It did have a large portion of sliced, smoked ham, and a slice of cheese, all of which would have melded wonderfully if the yolk had been "oozy" enough to meld. The patty itself was cooked perfectly, however, juicy and absolutely "Medium" (Though we were never asked how we would like them cooked, and both patties were cooked differently) The burger also (surprise!) came with lettuce, tomato, and red onion. While all 3 looked fresh, I'm not sure where they quite fit in with the Egg and Ham, and they were not mentioned on the menu description. We removed them.
All burgers come with a choice of a Green Salad, Pasta Salad, or Fries, and are about $7.
To me, that seems expensive for what turned out to be mediocre food, no service (you serve yourself), and a dingy, dirty environment.
I guess if I were a starving student, I might be inclined to brave the crowds on Happy Hour nights, where students can, for roughly $4, get a Burger, Fries, and a Drink... and sometimes watch other Drunken Starving Students attempt to ride tricycles through the restaurant.
But for a hamburger? I'd skip it. read more