From the moment you drive into the massive parking lot, Costco screams, "Come inside, we have tasty treats today!" The parking spaces are wide enough to facilitate easy access back into your car after having filled up on the treats available inside the store and you are waddling back to your car in a partially comatose state.
When you present your Gold membership card with your face, the door checkers are only there for one reason. They want to make sure that you are not carrying baggies on your person to stash extra tasty treats once you are full. You might think they are at the door to verify that you have a membership, but at only $55 per year for a Gold Membership or $110 for an Executive Membership, who in their right mind would not be willing to have a membership. I have not honestly met a single person who has ever tried to get in to a Costco that was not already a member.
As you grab your cart and head in, everything is laid out just perfectly. It is like one big square and the aisles are really wide. This is done to make it easy for members to remain friendly members as they jockey and maneuver their over-loaded carts as they try to get up close to the next batch of tasty treats coming out of the oven by "Linda" on aisle 13, "Jackie" on aisle 13 1/2, or "Tony" on aisle 13 (but close to 14).
Bless their hearts, these tasty treat passer-outers know exactly why we are there. They understand why there are not 78 carts at the back of the store picking up bulk grocery or household items (like toilet tissue). They KNOW that when you are standing there and saying that you are getting two "one for me and one for my wife" that you are actually going to go around the corner and tell the wife to "get one for you and one for me while you are over there."
And don't even think that you are pulling a fast one over on them when you send your kids over to get an extra tasty treat for you after they have already run all over the store filling up on their own free lunch. "Linda", "Jackie", and "Tony" are on to you. In fact, if you are regular trying to build up your cashback of 2% on the Executive Membership per year, they probably know your kids by name, what grade they just got on their last spelling test, and what they would prefer for tasty treats on their next visit. Kids are just brutally honest and yes, they will probably tell on you when they are picking up another batch of clear, plastic cups and say, "Mom asked me to get her another one!"
You think that with the masses of people swarming around them that they don't remember a face showing up a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th time?? It may be an urban myth, but I have heard that tasty treat personnel are required to play Memory Match on their breaks so they can, if necessary, catch members who try to fill up at just one display. If you do, they are directed to kindly remind you that the treats are free and that you should also try what one of their colleagues are offering. Hmmm, that makes me wonder if they are on a commission quota. Pity the person who has to stand at the display offering free tasty treat of Vitamin Goopalots or dog food. Not really a fair day for that person, but I am sure they switch off.
If there was a con to Costco, it would probably be the fact that not every aisle has a person offering tasty treats. I go into the Optical Department that accepts a number of different insurances and has a great selection of frames, yet there is not one person offering a nice, greasy, gooey treat to welcome you....oh wait, never mind, I think I understand why that is not the case. It is probably one reason why the optical staff are so happy and friendly because they do NOT have to clean fingerprints off the glasses every evening.
Having made the rounds to the point where you can't remember which display you visited, you go to check out. Arriving at the front, you join other groaning individuals who like you are groaning from over-eating, not from the length of the lines, you realize that there are more helpful staff with two or three willing to help you box up all of your bulk items that you felt obligated to buy after 7 helpings of the Gouda cheese, or the 3 (ok, 4) helpings off the Swedish meatball display. The checkout stands are conveniently located near the Deli where the smell of fresh churros, turkey and provolone sandwiches, and pepperoni pizza wafts across every line facilitated by the oscillating fans hidden somewhere and pointed deliberately in the direction of your children's noses. "Daddy, can we get a pizza, please?" The cashier smiles knowing that not only were they hooked, but that you will have to get one as well because you never want to let your children eat by themselves (unwritten rule of parenthood).
Finishing your pizza and churro, you meet more smiling employees who check your receipt to ensure that what is in your bag is what you paid for, not free samples. Must go now and plan my next trip. I am sure I need more office supplies. read more