Look, this is mostly my fault. I should have researched more. I was visiting my mother from out of town, and after Italian food was suggest, I looked on Yelp and found this place. Now I don't know if the algorithm that calculates these scores is faulty or the clientele exist in a different universe from me, but for some reason this place has four stars. Weird. There were a few key warnings that I chose to ignore, and for that I'm responsible.
1. Big open loud dining area.
Upon arrival we were sat a table in the main dining area where a mixture of nervous kids going to the prom and grumpy out of shape older people sat. Every woman that was on a date looked bored and disappointed. The mix of rented tuxedos on children and backwards baseball hats was adorable. Now I don't know if this place was originally designed to house a chamber orchestra or if everyone there was drunk/hard of hearing but I was sitting a few feet from my mother and like eight feet away from the nearest patron and we both had to shout to hear each other. Not the restaurant's fault, but for quiet conversation it fails. That said, I was optimistic and thought, "Well it's packed, and the steaks go up to about 50 dollars, so they probably use quality ingredients."
The correct interpretation of this situation was that rich dumb people with no pallet eat here because they are too afraid or lazy to drive a few minutes out of Edina.
I ordered an espresso, and it was the highlight of the meal, as it was an actual espresso served in a cup and given in a manner in which a person that has functioning taste buds could enjoy. Downhill from there. I promise nothing is hyperbole.
2. Soup.
I ordered a bowl of tomato basil soup. I love tomato basil. As a guy that thinks tomato flavor is the best non-meat flavor in the world, I've eaten some iteration of this kind of soup dozens of time. It's a simple soup, but if the ingredients are good, it's delicious. A person with no cooking experience and a few minutes on google will make a better soup.
Like this is the first one I found on Food Network and it's totally reasonable:
https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-tomato-basil-soup-recipe-1940376
What they served was, no joke, below the par of an 80 cent can of Campbell's soup. For seven dollars, I would assume it would surpass processed slop thrown in a microwave with no salt, garlic, pepper, or any seasoning integrated. At this point we should have paid, and left, so the entrees are our fault.
3. Entrees
My mother ordered their lasagna. I ordered a halibut over noodles special that sounded interesting. I ordered this before I was aware that they couldn't beat Campbell's in a taste contest. If I ordered after the soup, I probably just would have ordered some simple appetizer and ate later.
At 35 dollars the Halibut consisted of what felt liked a frozen and thawed filet that was over cooked, unseasoned, and then dredged in rancid miso sauce. This was served, once again no joke, over noodles that would be beaten for flavor at Panda Express since apparently a food court has higher quality control.
As for the lasagna, the marinara (which I recall them bragging about being made in house.... which is sort of like saying they cook the steak on location.... what do people think you're using cans of Ragu?) was slightly above Domino's tomato sauce. It's most likely pre-made and frozen and then microwaved to serve.
After I immediately chomped on a piece of Nicorette, not because I was jonesing for nicotine, but because that awful tasting gum was a welcome pallet cleanser.
At this point we're both grumpy, we ask for the check, which came out to 90 dollars including tip, and left. If all the food was around 20 dollars and served in a cafeteria at a hospital or something, fine.... that doesn't seem to be the vibe they were going for though.
So I don't know who this clearly popular restaurant is trying to cater towards. But if you want Olive Garden quality at real restaurant prices. Come to Ciao Bella.
I don't know if they had an off day, or if people come here because they think The Old Country Buffet is too damn spicy for them, but this is hands down the worst Italian food I've had in my life. read more