I love this place!
I had a rough few days and needed to unwind. I'm locked in this crazy custody battle and my kids are acting crazy. Their mom, my dumbass ex, is filling their heads with all kinds of lies! I went into the VFW across the parking lot to take the edge off. The VFW was totally awesome... to a point.
Technically I am a veteran. I went through almost a month of bootcamp at Mayport in Jacksonville (hoorah!). My ankle was swelling up and I think I had like a sinus thing going on so I was honorably discharged and sent on my way. It was their loss. I told them as much and they agreed, but "at the end of the day Uncle Sam is also a b*tch to bureaucracy" as my grandpa used to say.
So I was schmoozing it up, getting into my zone at the VFW. I was exchanging war stories with some fellow vets. I may have over embellished and took some liberties. Yeah, I may have plagiarized a tad, but most of that sh*t was pretty accurate. Apparently the guy I was talking to, Rodney, had seen Black Hawk Down and totally called me out. I was permanently banned from all VFWs, which is total bullsh*t. Fun fact: they actually don't communicate too well, so if you're banned from one location you can still go to another and they won't recognize you.
The thing I like the most about the VFW is that you can smoke inside. My second wife, Margarie, hated when I'd come home from the VFW reeking of sweet, cool cigs. Ya'know what I'd tell her? "Semper fi!" She didn't get it. Once you've served, you get this look. We call it the "thousand yard stare". It's like when you're staring out into space and you can't even see what's in front of you. Like you can't see the trees because you're too busy looking at the forest. That's what listening to Margarie's nagging was like.
After I was asked to leave the VFW I mozied across the parking lot and found Big Dog Saloon. It seemed appropriate because I am a Big Dog myself. Some of my friends even called me Big Dog. In boot camp that was my 'tag' as they say, on accounta my wardrobe pretty much consists of Big Dog apparel. The quality of Big Dog apparel is only out rivaled by the designs. Those guys are really on to something and they're totally speaking my language.
Conveniently enough, I happened to go in to Bid Dog on a Wednesday, which is one of two of their BOGO specials. That stands for buy one get one. So what's half of twenty? You do the math! The signature cocktails are nothing to write home about, but it worked out well because I prefer the classics. I like my mixed drinks like I like my rock music-- classic. I like Led Zeppelin most of all. Some of their later stuff is way under appreciated. John Bonham's live drum solo in Moby Dick is unparalleled.
They allow smoking on their patio, which is pretty badass. It turns out that they actually do karaoke... not 1, not 2, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, but 7 nights a week! Between that and the Big Dog thing it was like a sign from god that I had found my Mecca. My own private Idaho. In Florida. For Big Dogs. A place for Big Dogs to roam free, because we can't be tamed. That's what I used to tell my ex wife but she didn't understand.
I was in the middle of singing Whole Lotta Love and this dude started puking everywhere. I'm not sure what he had eaten but it looked like he was puking straight blood. Speaking of food, this place could use... some of it. I mean, how many bags of chips can one person eat, right? It isn't substantial. I need a pb&j if I'm going to be slamming 20 Jack and cokes. Those two pair surprisingly well together.
There was a cool dude who had just gotten off of work named Victor and we totally hit it off. We even sang a couple of duets. I wanted to sing Paradise By The Dashboard Lights but Vic insisted that we sang Summer Loving from Grease. He's seriously obsessed with Grease. If you ever meet Vic, ask him anything about John Travolta. Anything. Vic was a second generation Scientologist and made it to OT3 before he bounced. They still send him flyers in the mail, but they've toned down on the phone calls.
Eventually I was asked to leave, but they specified that I was not banned forever. If I could leave this place 6 stars I would. If I could leave the VFW 0 stars I would. Ya'know, it's the thought that counts. I technically served my country. Looking forward to many more great times at my new favorite hang spot! read more