Somewhere in Branson, tucked behind the tourist shops and fudge factories, we decided to go full…read morenature mode and hit the Lakeside Forest Wilderness Area--which sounds way more intense than it actually is. I was half-expecting to see a bear with a banjo or a raccoon running a moonshine still. Instead, we got about 140 acres of surprisingly legit wilderness... with signs. Lots of signs. Branson knows how to label a rock.
The trail started off innocent enough--wood chips, some chirping birds, a suspicious squirrel staring us down. Then came the stairs. Not like "oh look, a couple of steps," but 315 stone steps carved into the side of a bluff like Mother Nature was training for a StairMaster commercial. Whoever built these things must have been part mountain goat, part lunatic.
Down we went, each step echoing with the soundtrack of my thighs weeping. Somewhere between Step 89 and existential crisis, we passed a little cave where I'm 83% sure a wizard lives. It was cool, literally and metaphorically. We didn't go in though--look, we respect magical real estate.
At the bottom was a view of Lake Taneycomo so pretty it made me forgive the stair situation. There were trees, chirping birds, and a breeze that whispered, "Hey, good luck going back up." We lingered at a little waterfall trickle (emphasis on trickle--it hadn't rained much) and contemplated faking an injury to avoid the climb.
Eventually, we powered back up, legs shaking, pride shattered, but hearts full. Or maybe that was just dehydration.
Back at the top, we found a porch swing near the ruins of an old homestead, which felt like a reward from the hiking gods. If you ever wanted to swing gently while staring into the distance and pretending you're in a Nicholas Sparks movie, this is your spot.
All in all, 5 stars would hike again. Just next time, I'm bringing hiking poles.