The short review: For those coming to the mischief/magic festival this place is a hard no. Since you're going to wait an hour to eat everywhere, go to any other place.
The long review (helpful for moms/parents out there and especially festival folks)
Preface: huge festival + small town restaurant = crazy made from the sh*t of a bat. I gave the place plenty of leeway, my standards were low.
I was in the blazing sun with the overly tired, but determined, kiddo hunting down festival cards while dad waited for a table. He sat before us and we joined shortly after. The waitress was super quick and brought water/chips when we arrived. We were a party of 3 and were seated at a small two top with added chair. I get it, it's busy. Alas! We were adjacent to the chowing down Hogwarts founders. Then, I noticed the table was tiny. Like hobbit tiny. I pictured 3 plates, 3 drinks, and realized it's too small, the basket of chips will be stacked on the plates. It got weird after that.
I went to the ladies room and saw there was an open booth in the back corner and two more booths waiting to be cleared. After one booth was cleared, they sat a single person who was after us. So we have a table of 3 crammed on, honestly, the smallest table in the house, a single at a booth, and an open booth. Clearly, the staff isn't communicating to the host what's going on with the tables.
One of my dining partners was ravenous, I was irritated that he didn't speak up and ask for a booth when they sat him at the hobbit table in front of the constant opening front door. I mean, damn, if you've waited 45 min, what's another 5 for the empty booth in the back? You know the struggle.
The waitress brought the chips and "salsa" which is grossly mislabeled since it's actually bland pico. At that moment, I knew this place would be memorable, in the wrong way. You know that moment.
Your spidey senses tingle and you know this is going to go downhill faster than Al Bundy with no brakes. Everyone is going to hate it.....but.....they'll hate you more if you try to right the ship with the manager. They'll label it as making a scene, when you're really saving everyone involved a trip to disappointment town.
It is in this moment you have a choice. Stay or go. Avoid the conflict. They stay, you go. When your partner doesn't want you to mix in, don't. When your frustration is rising at this place, go get the remaining 4 festival cards that were missed. The kids don't want to make the collective 6 block trek for three randomly scattered cards, you don't want to hear the complaints, it's a win win.
(Review of actual food) Your family will have the enchiladas with flour tortillas, not corn, and def not what the enchilada lover in your life expects (or likes). They'll also have the chicken and spinach quesadilla (a less likely to be screwed up choice) which is soggy because it's microwaved and not grilled. Unsalted chips and pico but no salt on the table. Don't worry, they'll find the one salt shaker four tables away being communally shared amongst various patrons.
(Time spent in restaurant). You'll have plenty of time to trek from the far side of the festival and snake through (for those scattered missing cards while thinking HOW did we miss this place, then remembering the map is beautifully artistic but not necessarily accurate). You'll also have time to go to the Woodrow Wilson Museum (two blocks up the hill) to assess if the kids will complain about the hike up the hill. Short answer: it's worth it if the kids are older and they love quick, historical tours. You'll also have time to eat a slice of pizza on the go or indulge yourself with a real adult sandwich, or cocktail, at the cafes adjacent to this place (which you don't normally go to because of unadventurous eaters in the fam). You may luck out with slower than normal service and be able to browse the program for remaining events of the day in peace, without being impatiently stared upon.
(Management) When you return in an hour, or more, you'll have gotten in another 5,000 steps, lost 5lbs of fluid, and have the manager roll their eyes and blow you off after you've calmly explained the table and food situations. They'll walk away after you've pushed hard for some sort of compensation for having to choose between staying at the table or risk knocking overlapping plates, chip basket, and slippery, condensation laden cups. But, you'll pay 25% less and secretly had a better meal so.....it won't ruffle you too much.
Everyone will be re-energized for a 2nd wind. You, of course, and your family, who is so thrilled with your return they'll unload their complaints and tell you how lucky you are to have been spared the meal. You'll leave having knowledge which mitigates the festival challenges ahead of you, like a boss. HP moms, we salute you! read more