let ol' wade put you fine folks on.
now being the (clears throat) contractor that i am, mr. wilson would never stoop so low as to be an "under paid slave" but don't ask where i get this insiders look at ups.
where to start?
ok, first- don't look at the ups store folks like they're the incompetent ones, (even if they are, just, just don't) that's likely not where the problem will be.
Next consider what ups employees think of themselves as. the only thing missing is the d-bag with the whip (ass-less chaps? check. whips? absent). in general you've got your highschoolers, your junior college goers, your "i started here as one of the former and even though it took 12 years to get here, i now make $17 an hour with benefits and cant match that anywhere else in this economy" guys, it goes on... not far but it's more of the same in descending degrees. point being folks that aren't paid enough to care about your package, just not hearing a supervisor bitch is the goal of the day.
Now consider the mindset of the junior college kid who has just learned what "fragile" means and was only recently informed that it is indeed not a french word.
when your average loader sees "fragile" one question pops inevitably into his head: how fragile? followed by- how heavy is it? is anyone looking? how far can i throw it? sweet! beat my personal best with that one!
this doesn't even touch the issues of the system. which your good buddy wade has it on good authority is nothing, if you've ever seen them, like the videos.
if you've ever heard nails on a chalkboard you may have an idea of what it sounds like to hear an overloaded belt start up it's death scream from a quarter mile down and shake and jitter under the weight of all your precious hsn products because at some turn junction grandmas china set (that she packed herself) tried and failed to turn the corner with some d-bags lawn table set replacement umbrella and a transmission, so now nothing is moving but the front end doesn't know about it until they try to sort your package to the black/white belt (clear across the building two floors up) only to find that the last thing they sorted hasn't moved. it's called a jam.... they tell me. it has to be broken. so after untold other parcels have been crawled over, stepped on, tossed aside, otherwise crushed by the force of everything else bearing down on them, a handler or 3 have found the problem- grandmas china. now whatever damage this package has already sustained means nothing. esp not to 3 elective classes joe who is in a tight precarious position which isn't quite safe but at least it's safer than it is abiding regulations. what happens to this box then means no more. it's got to move. because joe and everyone else wants to go home some time today. therefor if this thing ends up ripped and spilled all over these united states in various tofc, tough sheet. that replacement umbrella- it's already bent, so to get it free we might as well bend it the rest of the way. Holly Wanda from pd-3's bra!!! the whole belt has just jumped! joe just wants to make it home tonight now. any respect he had is gone. he wants a joint, he's tired, thirsty, hungry, and back in his trailer your fruit of the month is rolling in. thank you fred from rockridge. and jack links has shown up. thank you, max's tire and grocery, lelend texas. and those apple chips.... safe this time. return damaged jewelery, thanks cash for gold. wow, seriously, a cash for gold pouch, thanks again. a target box! could you carry it out in your hand at target? it's in that box, like a mini target store. joe says thanks target, this ain't even out til tuesday. owned! and finally after 6,7,8 hours of monotonous box after box, and full time coordinators ordering joe to do things he was drilled for 2 whole weeks never to do, and cardboard cuts ( right, because you thought paper cuts were bad, noob) now jelly belly boxes weighed precisely to the ounce, exactly .074 ounces short of the 70lbs requirement to make them overweight/irreg packages, and joes blood sugar is plummeting. they say nothing weighs more than steel, they're wrong. nothing weighs more than jelly bellies & here they are all in a row, smiling anthropomorphised jelly beans march towards him laughing at him in his delirium. but trust joe. he's watched plenty ufc while he was supposed to be doing his drama 103 homework and he is almost an expert at throwin' bows. "come on, juicy pear!"
last notes for now-
if you're not sure your package can survive a fall from 2 stories up, don't worry. your nearest upser will find out for you.
if you're note comfortable standing on your desk or car and dropping your package from chest height as you stand there. get someone who knows what your property is about to face to package it. that's a shot out to those inept folks you were complaining about at the ups store.
good luck shippers. aha ahaha ahahahahaaahahahhaahahahhahahaaa read more